My life is chaos

Hey everyone I’m new here, I’m 16 years old I have severe depression, self harm issues, I’m bisexual, failing school and I lost all my friends in the last two weeks. I’m on string medications which make feel very weird like if ur tipsy from having a drink. I pretty sure there the one reason I’m bothering to type this up. By the way I’m a guy in case ur wondering. So I’m failing school because I stay up to late either because I can’t fall asleep because I know then that I have to get up and go through hell all over again, or I’m slicing my wrist open with a knife so to knock myself out in the bathroom. My parents don’t care about me always arguing to each other how they never get to do anything or the other has it better then they do. Or there simply ignoring me on purpose because i told them about my boy friend and now my parents are only willing to look after me until I’m 18 when they’ll kick me out if I’m ready or not. They forgot my birthday haven’t taken me to get my license and scratch out my face in I think all of the family photos.im just something they have to put up with. Partly because my grandma was furious with my parents. She’s the reason I still have somewhere to sleep and eat. However I lost my “home” 2 years ago. I’ve had depression since I was 8 or 9 I think right up until now. My favourite things to do are to either drug myself so that I don’t feel anything for about 24 hrs or go sit at the top of the abandoned crane that’s just up the road. My boy friend dumped me for my best friend ( who’s a girl in case ur wondering) and that’s pretty much how I lost my friends because they started teasing me then bullying until finally the just punched the living shit out of me two or three days ago. All because I tried to stand up for myself. Lesson learned. Without my the half a dozen medications I’m on I would have killed myself by now. I really want to feel loved again. For someone to show that they care about me for who I am. I feel like someone vengfully ripped away everything that made me smile. I lost my laugh, my smile, my peace of mind and I’ve almost lost all hope in myself.
Please help

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Does no one care
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Eli, thank you for being so brave and sharing all of this. It sounds like you have a lot going on, so it’s understandable that you would be struggling. I’m so sorry the people in your life aren’t giving you the love you deserve. We all love you, and we are here for you. We want you to heal and know that you are worth EVERYTHING. Thank you for trying to stay strong and hold on. Reach out to me on Discord if you want to chat.

Love you lots

It’s not that no one cares - it’s a Monday and there are people from all parts of the world on this forum.
You may have posted it whilst people are working/sleeping/away from the computer. People will respond, please don’t think its because you’re not cared for.
I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time. Have you looked into Dwarf Planet and ReWrite? 2 books that HeartSupport can provide for free. Dwarf Planet is a work book focussing on depression and ReWrite is a resource for self harm. I will throw you a link to both of those.
I’m a self harmer and addict and it’s taken me 12 years to get into my recovery and I’m now 22. It does start to get better, it just takes time and hard work. It’s a temporary fix that just makes it so much worse later on.

Hold Fast
Kayla

1 Like

I’m so sorry the people you’re supposed to be able to trust, your family and friends, are treating you like this. You deserve so much better.

You’re in a really bad situation cause you’re young and surrounded by people who are treating you horribly, and you cant get away from it on your own. But that’s not gonna last forever. I know it feels like it right now, but there will be a day when you can choose exactly who you let into your life, and people who treat you like this have no place in it.

You’re loved here. Exactly as you are. :heart:

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low and going through so much. You deserve to feel loved and respected. Sending all the love I can <3

Heya. I care.
Your life is pretty shitty, dude. You’re in a bad place, I read that, and your emotional state is all f*cked up. All of that doesn’t help you get the balance you need.
I don’t know how I can help you, but I do feel like you need to talk to someone about it, someone you trust and can maybe help, a psychiatrist, a school counselor, a good teacher, the parents of a friend. And write down your pain, your thoughts. Find something you love, to draw, to make music, and focus yourself in that, make use of this bad time to hone your skills.
And until you can change your surroundings to find a better place to be, survive. Each day you live is a day you win over everyone who just puts you down and hates you, everyone who would rather see you gone or dead. You win each day because you refuse to give up, to keep being an annoyance to them in their lives instead of just giving up and dying.
Live, and be happy, against all odds, in any way you can, because that’s what they are trying to take away from you. Don’t let them.
And about the self-harm… be as safe as you can be, and don’t fall into the trap of using it as a distraction, or even an addiction. So stay safe the best you can. Stay alive the best you can. Things will change. You are still young, you have a whole life ahead of you, a life you will be able to fill in any way you please. For now, just survive.

Eli,
That sounds really hard. I’m so sorry that you have had people you should be able to count on that have hurt you. You don’t deserve any of that. You are lovable, and you are loved, and you deserve to be loved no matter what. I am glad you are still here, I respect you for being strong enough to put up with so much and for being willing to share about it. Even though it took a while to answer I do care, and I’m sorry you felt unheard.

You’re not alone.


Eli, I just wanted to send you all the love received for you on our Instagram. There were so many I couldn’t even post them all on our story! We love you!!! Hold fast.

OHHHHH thanks so much I didn’t know if people would care or not. im crying right now because its such a relief to know that people care what im going through. I just don’t no there nice words but words don’t fix any of my problems. in my case talking to the people about them end up making them worse. I just don’t kno what to do next

I even took time to read this message. :wink:

Next you go find someone to talk to in person, someone you can trust, and you tell them everything that is on your mind and in your heart. It can be a teacher, a school counsellor, a therapist, basically anyone who is willing to listen.
You made a great step coming here and asking the question you needed answer to, if anyone cares, and you have your answer. Now go and find the other answers to your questions.

You’re doing good, kid. :slight_smile: You’re going to be fine. Take it all one step at a time, at your own pace.

Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy