My life is upside down

My life is in pieces
My best friend noticed I’m acting different, but instead of trying to help, is trying to stop talking with me
I mess up everything I do, I can’t even go to a birthday party without doing something that makes everyone look at me badly.
My parents limit all the things that I have fun with, and my friends are one of the only ways I can be myself.
All of my friends are girls, which makes everyone laugh at me.
My parents don’t understand how much my friends mean to me.
Nothing is seeming to go right.
Usually these “episodes” get better, but this one isn’t.
People don’t understand why I don’t believe in god, and it makes me upset.
I try to make the best of everything, but my brain only finds the worst.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t even understand my own emotions most of the time.

Hi there,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know exactly how you feel, and I know how much it sucks.
Sometimes you don’t even know what’s wrong, and end up feeling like you messed everything up even though you did nothing in the first place.
I can tell you right now, with 100% confidence, that you don’t do everything wrong. Sometimes when we’re anxious, nervous, or have the MINDSET that we mess everything up, we then think that about everything we do.
You aren’t the problem:) there’s nothing wring with you!
I’m sorry your parents do that:( have you tried talking to them about how you feel?
Honestly, if your friends mean that much to you, don’t listen to everyone else! they probably laugh because they wish they could have that great of a friend group! I would try telling a friend from your friend group how you feel, and what’s going on, (if you’re comfortable doing that).
sometimes we go through periods in our lives where nothing seems like it’s working for us, and it sucks, but it’s just a part of life, you know? I wish I had a better answer for you, but that’s honestly what it is. no one is out to get you, people love you, you are important!
I know how hard it is to be the only non religious one around others, but that doesn’t make you any less valuable! your life is just as important and treasured:)
you are so wonderful and strong. you’ve gotten through those other episodes, this one will eventually end, and you’ll conquer it, and we’ll be here to cheer you on! it’s okay if you don’t understand your emotions most of the time. I think most people don’t understand their emotions most of the time haha it’s just a journey. you have to go on a self exploration adventure. figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy, sad, angry, frustrated, who the important people in your life are. I think that’s just one way to try to figure things out better, because you’ll have a better sense of yourself:)
you got this.
keep fighting

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Hello Bert!
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. It can be very difficult sometimes to have fun for the sake of having fun when you don’t want to have fun. It can also be very difficult for people who have never felt that way to understand it, but there are people, many actually, who understand. There is nothing wrong with you and you do not mess everything or anything up. My best advice would be to explain to your friends the best you can how you are feeling and ask that they be patient with you throughout the process of pulling yourself out of it. Let them know how much they mean to you. If they are good, true friends they will understand. As far as the people making fun of you for being friends with girls, that’s just silly. You can be friends with whoever you want. As you get older, no one will bat an eyelash at what people deem “weird” now. One of my best friends is a guy and almost all of his close friends are girls and he’s actually envied for it, haha. So trust me, you’re not weird for that. It’s okay to be different. In fact, I think it’s a lot cooler. I pride myself in being weird now, but when I was younger I got picked on constantly. It’s funny, because a lot of what I got made fun of for then are now things many people do/like, including the people who made fun of me back then. If you’d like to talk more or open up about what you’re feeling, I’m here to listen. You are not alone.

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Sounds like you’re dealing with a lot, man…to feel like people don’t understand, and when they appear to, they disappear too…to feel like your parents drive a wedge between you and the people you love…to feel like your friends drive a wedge between you and all the people at your school…to feel like there’s no relationship situation that’s going well, and to feel like so much of your situation is beyond your control…it just feels like you can’t win. And you can’t figure out what to do to make things better than they are because right now they’re not well.

I’m curious why you mentioned that people aren’t understanding of why you don’t believe in God – what’s that all about?

Hey @Bert - I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time right now, but it gets better! I understand that this season/episode is taking a little longer than usual to blow over, but I promise you that it will. Keep holding on. We believe in you!

Don’t try to convince them. You don’t want to believe in god or any god then you don’t have to. Just don’t bother explaining yourself. No matter what your reason is if they can’t except it then they’ll disregard it anyways. Let them delude themselves.

My family is convinced I am a Christian, but I am not. I let them delude themselves. Anyone that knows me knows I am spiritually an agnostic that optomistically leans toward paganism. (My family don’t know me or they would know this.)

You are at a stage where you’re in survival mode so you will have to act to get what you want. I suggest finding out what triggers your episodes where people are staring at you & your friends don’t want to hang out. Avoid these triggers if possible.

You can be yourself and yet be reserve & elegant as to insure that drama won’t claim your life making your situation worse. It takes a little patience and time with opportunity until you can relocate so you can gain your full freedom. It is exactly what I am doing.