My life story please come give me support

yay my grandma is dying of cancer I have 2 death in my family and my boyfriend brook up with me my parent are been mean to me am get bullied my school performance has gone down am sleep depriving myself because I get 2 3 4 5 hours a sleep a night am stressed out to the max and I just don’t have a positive outlook on life and I just don’t seem to care about life right now and life sucks ow yay I don’t have a very good support system I mean my family my teacher and am alone I have dyslexia ADHD anxiety emotional behaviour disorder league processing disorder while at school they were people how were speed rummers about me how I was down in the dumper and feel depressed so yay I was been bullied it made me feel like crap I feel like am give up
deal with a lot lately and makes me feel powerless like be bully my parents been mean um just feel less of a person feel like I’m a failure am feel like as am tired of trying in life and I feel like why should I try For the last three or four days, I’ve been experiencing anxiety way more than usual. I’m a Christian, but my faith has been little to no comfort to me. No matter how much I pray, no matter how much I read my bible, my anxiety never goes away. All my life, even before I knew of my diagnosis, I sensed I was different from everyone else. But I didn’t realize how different until I reached my teens, Around the same time, I became a Christian personally, but even then, I’ve never felt as though I belong. A lot of things about faith that Christians take comfort in just rub off on me the wrong way. I’m very shy and introverted, so I don’t really have any friends. That said, in a way, I grow up in a middle-class family am being abused, I never went to drank or did drugs or smoke or do pills. And yet, I feel guilty for how blessed I am. How can I be practically living? because I already feel powerless. Another big thing that contributes to my anxiety is that it’s very easy for me. whether that be extreme sadness or anger at the person making them suffer, sometimes both. I know how valuable empathy is, but sometimes, I wish I didn’t have it. For one thing, I will admit, sometimes I unintentionally indulge in my emotional distress. I’m not always aware of it, and when I’m I it, it’s hard for me to stop. I don’t know what to do about it. There’ve been evenings when I’ve ranted and cried. I’ve been to counselling, my family knows about my problems and do not supports me, but no matter how hard I try to make friends or try to get into my faith as everyone else does, I always feel alone. Truly, no one I know or understands how hard it sometimes. I didn’t ask to be born this way, I didn’t ask to be born at all. I feel as though I’m too much and not enough at the same time. I live in a world where I feel like my faith won’t let me enjoy the “world” and the “world” won’t let me enjoy my faith.I’m struggling with self-harm right now and I don’t know what else to do to get the help I don’t know how to go to in lost in my mind am worthless am a piece of crap I can’t control my behaviour and I just feel like quitting. I what to be a male I am been bullied and am lost in my sent her day by day My story is a long one, but I’ve done the best to keep it short. I’ve never had suicidal thoughts, and I wonder if I’ve just lived too long. All I want to know is that there’s at least one person who’ll at least read this and let me know they have. Just listening (or reading) I really need support right now am really struggle and need help I don’t know what to do I need to love me what to give up i what to quit what should I do am tired of the crap I have to deal with and my life sucks am struggling with worth and willingness to try in life and they days were I don’t what to get out of bed please read this and give me support and love I need as my mental health is to control my life and I feel alone tell me am not alone I feel like am posting this battle I feel like I have no reason to live in done with life i dont what to go toght the stuggle ever be nothing in my life

Hey @kait2345,

I responded to your last topic with a similar topic - check it out below:

thanks for the support i rellay do need it right now