im not sure how to word this so i guess ill get straight to the point
my girlfriend suffers from depression and anxiety she was also raped and had a miscarriage and we just stared dating i want to help and love her but i dont know how ive seen the miracles this community can preform in from of my very eyes at warped '18 i hate to call upon that power again but i just hav no where else to turn
what i want to know are separated into two categories big and small things
big things are things i can do when shes having a breakdown or any other big emotional problems small things are little small actions i can do just because anything in between is also greatly appreciated im very open minded
please i want to be the best boyfriend i can be i am forever greatful
Oo, boy. That’s a difficult situation. I had a roommate a few years ago that was also raped and had pretty terrible PTSD from it. The kid that raped her got off scotch free and would go as far as to laugh at her whenever they bumped into each other at school. She ended up getting a therapy cat and her boyfriend was SO good for her. Remember that your girlfriend WILL have boundaries. She WILL have days where she won’t want to be cuddled because it reminds her of the disgusting, foul human that degraded her body. Remember that she will have times where she just needs to be alone. Don’t be forceful with her ever, if she asks you to back off, back off. Trust me, it’s not you that’s making her uneasy, it’s her memories. Be supportive, but remember that a lot of women need A LOT of time to heal from that kind of trauma.
I think the biggest thing I want you to take away from this though is that you shouldn’t blame yourself if she decides to leave you. Someone literally forced themselves inside of her, don’t be offended if she decides she can’t do a relationship right now. I really hope for the best for you both, & remember that if she decided that YOU were someone she would try to date after going through what she has, you must really be something special.
First of all you have reached out and that take as huge step so give your self some credit.
By the sounds of it you really like this lady in your life and that it awesome. What I would suggest though is try not to force it to make sure everything is perfect all the time,it runs the risk of being a bit too much but then again you need to read your other half. I think first of all talking to her about the big reaction and try and see if there is any coping strategies she currently uses or anything she would be willing to explore. For yourself just to care for her as much as you can but remember to care for yourself aswell, if you get burnt out emotionally it will drag you down too.
Hope this helps somewhat. Direct messages always open
Power to you