My low self esteem ruins my day (potentially multiple) how can I work that out?

For me, I can be as prepared as I want to be to try to make myself happy (Like having a todo list and somewhat of a schedule like exercising daily). It all falls flat hard, which upsets myself even more when I dont do them and its all I can think of throughout the night.
How I can feel on that day affects my entire day which I really hate.
This pretty much has been a cycle for so many years but its hitting me hard more than any other since I am now an adult, problems like this where I usually talk to my close friends for opinions I dont do that, and even if I talk to my parents about it, they dont believe it and brush it off and move on.
What can I do?



Keep fighting. For yourself. Keep reaching out. Don’t give up.


This is super relatable. I was literally talking about this to friends on Tuesday night – the whole concept of creating a schedule but not sticking to it, or not sticking to it forever, etc.

You’re not alone in that, certainly.

And the consequential shame is also totally normal. It could also be a bedrock of some really beautiful curiosity and understanding of yourself. Why do you feel ashamed? Why does it side-lay your entire day, your mood towards yourself? What do you feel about yourself in those moments? Might be worth some journaling to try to excavate a deeper understanding of why you feel that way.

In the meantime, a practical bit I’ve learned is self-kindness. Change is hard. Don’t try to do a zillion things at once. Do one. Honestly, one change at a time is the best way to change because it provides momentum, and momentum begets other positive change in your life. Moreover, you don’t really need to be doing everything to have a good life. Social media can be a bitch becuase one person is doing this thing and another is doing this other thing, and we end up loading expectations on ourselves like some kind of self-hate buffet. Be kinder to yourself! Pick one thing that feels like it matters to you right now and try it out for a manageable amount of time. Workout every day for seven days, and give yourself a “momentum catcher” threshold. For me, when I set that kind of a goal, I think to myself – even if I do ONE PUSHUP, I am successful for the day. That way if I get in bed and am like – fuck I forgot my workout – I can just roll over and do a pushup and be successful, keep the momentum.

Those are some practical bits that have helped me.

Though the shame is really the core thing at the root here that could use some addressing; that would be helpful to do some counseling around if you’re open to it. At least something to consider! I just got done doing a year of counseling and am in a mentorship with someone who’s digging into that with me and it’s very helpful to dig up the roots of those negative feelings towards yourself.

Hope this is helpful friend.