I honestly Dont know where to begin .
I feel like the title states it all . My mind being my worst critic.
It started at work today where i was watching kids and my two co-workers were talking about someone and i immediatly thought they were talking about me . which my mind was going in a thousand directions of " they dont like me " which i know that is false. I just feel like a fucking outcast and a burden some days to my coworkers even though i bust my butt off with/ for everyone .
I just wish i could stop feeling like an outcast and a burden .
It sounds like the problem in your mind, which is supposed to help you has become your enemy here, and is making it hard for you to come up with solutions.
I am glad you reached out to us.
It’s hard to know who is supporting you when your mind comes to the worst conclusions possible. I want you to know that there are people who want to get to know you and be a part of your life. I hope that in the future you will be able to form genuine connections with your co-workers where like you are a part of something. If there arises any more confusion go ahead and confide in us and we will reply as soon as possible <3
Hello friend,
It’s common for people to experience moments where they feel like they are being judged or excluded by others, even when there is no evidence to support those feelings. This can be due to a variety of factors, including self-doubt, insecurity, or past experiences that have shaped your self-perception.
Your mind can sometimes be your harshest critic because it’s influenced by your own inner thoughts, fears, and anxieties. Negative self-talk and cognitive distortions can magnify these feelings of being an outcast or a burden. These thoughts may not accurately reflect how your co-workers actually perceive you, as you mentioned that you know they don’t dislike you.
Here are some strategies to help you manage these feelings and thoughts:
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Challenge negative self-talk and remind yourself of your strengths and contributions.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can help you observe your thoughts without judgment and reduce their power over you.
Seek Support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a therapist. Sometimes, discussing your concerns with others can provide a different perspective and reassurance.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. For example, remind yourself of instances where your co-workers appreciated your hard work or support.
Set Realistic Expectations: Sometimes, we expect too much of ourselves, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Be mindful of setting achievable goals and recognizing your limitations.
Focus on Self-Improvement: Instead of seeking approval from others, concentrate on self-improvement for your own satisfaction. Continuously strive to be the best version of yourself, but do it for yourself rather than for external validation.
Practice Gratitude: Regularly reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life. This may help you get away from the negatives in life.
Remember it is quite common for people to experience things like this in life you can always seek help from family members or a therapist, I understand that you feel that they don’t like you, but sometimes you may have to trust your feelings as of that it may be hard but it may also help you know in life. (What I mean by trusting your feelings like your mind thinks that they may be talking behind your back but your feelings know that they actually do like you.)
This sounds like such a frustrating, upsetting situation to be in. It’s especially tough when worries creep into work and make you feel like an outcast and a burden. I feel for you and know that it is difficult to handle these challenging emotions.
While I don’t have any easy answers, I’m glad you’re able to recognize that some of these thoughts you’re experiencing are not founded in reality. I know it’s incredibly though when these come up and am wishing you the best as you navigate these.
Thank you for sharing and for being part of this community.
-Tuna
I realise that I may risk sounding like an echo chamber here, but I thought I would add some of my points on top of what others have said - all of which are fabulous replies!
Although I know that these emotions won’t be easy to deal with, I do commend you for being so open and willing to share your story. Our minds do unfortunately have the tendency to play tricks on us, making us believe things that aren’t true - even creating a false perception of reality sometimes. In this note, it’s not unusual for thoughts to go on a downward negative spiral.
As someone who can relate to what you say about feeling like you’re an outcaster or a burden on others, despite you being the one that actually works hard. It seems to me like you may be struggling with what’s called Imppster Syndrome. It’s where you doubt yourself, even despite the hard work put in. Imposter syndrome also gives us the negative assumptions - in your case that your co-workers were talking behind your back.
Recognising that the imposter within you is false or untrue is important. Often our minds cause us to overthink specific situations, leading us to envision a false or fake scenario. Having said this, it doesn’t diminish our thoughts or emotions. These difficult emotions don’t or never will define who you are or how others see you.
Sometimes, all that’s needed to counteract these negative beliefs is a little reassurance. It may be worth sparking up conversation with your fellow co-workers to see their perspective on your thoughts and emotions. It may be the case that they are totally oblivious to how their conversation impacted you and therefor they couldn’t offer reassurance that it wasn’t about you.
Finally, please remember that the value you bring through your hard work is immense. It’s certainly okay to feel the way you do, but definitely don’t let it weigh you down. Keep reminding yourself of the contribution you make, and prioritise self-care. Work isn’t the be all and end all
