I’m fairly young. I lost my mom last year. She was my best friend, and my only source of comfort when I moved away from my best friends. My dad would just say I’m weak and to suck it up. She suddenly died of sepsis. She was literally everything to me, and now that shes gone I really do nothing but sit in my room and pity myself. My last best friend moved away 2 months before she passed died, and I really have nothing left to live for. Please help.
I’m so sorry about your mom. It’s always heartbreaking to lose someone we love. It is not weak to mourn and grieve. It is part of life and part of being human. Is there a teacher or counselor you can talk to about how you’re feeling? There are places that also offer grief counseling which can help. When my grandmother passed away talking to a grief counselor about how I was feeling helped to process those feelings and allowed me to mourn. You said you are fairly young. I understand that it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you have a lot to live for. You have time to learn about who you are and the world around you and you can try to make new friends when you’re ready. You are loved and you matter. It’s okay if you don’t believe that right now, but it will hurt a little less with time. The people we love are never truly lost to us as long as we keep them in our hearts and treasure the memories of our time with them.
Sounds like your dad needs to face his grief, or perhaps his criticism is just how his grief is manifesting. My only reference to losing someone suddenly was when my grandpa died of heart failure in a Home Depot parking lot when I was 7, and I was devastated. I can’t imagine how much more you’re hurting right now.
Like @Mothergamer said, talking to a grief counselor can help. What you’re feeling is natural. It’s okay and even healthy to be sad, angry, lonely, and confused. Bottling all of that up is just storing poison in your soul. A grief counselor is there to help you feel those feelings in a healthy and constructive manner.
Your mom will always be a part of who you are. My mom still talks to my grandpa. Two friends whose moms died 10+ years ago still return to their moms for introspective advice. You don’t want to lose the memory of your mom. It hurts now, but you can heal with time and help, at your own pace. There isn’t a limit to recovery time. Eventually, the pain will fade and you can carry her with you for advice and examples. Stay strong and honor her memory.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I also lost someone who was dear to my heart because of a sudden disease 2 years ago. It’s heartbreaking, it’s violent and it’s a lot to process. It takes time to grieve. Being sad, feeling hopeless, defeated, is absolutely normal. And in such circumstances it’s important to take some time for yourself, but also not to isolate entirely. I’m proud of you for sharing what you’re going through, so we can support you in these difficult times.
As you said “would”, I don’t know if your dad actually told you that you are weak and need to “suck it up”. But if it’s the case, then he’s wrong, and it’s probably the manifestation of his own pain. Grief affects everyone but in different ways. And we deal with the pain in different ways.
You still have a lot to live for. But I understand that it may not feel like this right now. It’s okay. You will need time to process, to find some peace through all of this. Your mom is still here with you, in your mind, in your heart.
Keep reaching out. Keep talking about it as much as you need, wether it’s here, with a counselor or people who make you feel safe. There’s no shame to have. You are not weak.
Sending much love your way.
Losing someone, especially a parent is really hard. Grief is different for everyone. Some people like to be alone to work through it and heal, others like to be surrounded by friends and loved ones. Some are able to grieve and move on faster than others, while some people take a while. Your mom may have past last year, but it’s understandable that you still struggle.
You are not weak for hurting over the loss of her. Have you tried asking your dad or family if maybe they can help you set up some therapy? Sometimes having a counselor to talk to can really be helpful. It’s a safe place from all relationships where you can confide anything you want. I know for me that helped a lot.
I’m sorry that your best friend moved away. I hate that. As someone who was military for 14 years, I know how hard it is to have to either move away or have people you care for move away.
If you have other friends, I encourage you to try to spend time with them. Its good to surround yourself with people sometimes when you’re having a hard time. Maybe go see a movie, bowling, out to eat.
I’m sorry friend, I hope you are able to find some healing and that you are feeling a little better since you posted this.
Thinking of you.
I’m so sorry friend. You have all the love and support I can offer, and you have every right to grieve no matter what your dad says about it. There is always something to live for. I love you, hang in there