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My mom's health problems/our relationship


#1

this past week my mom told me she has struggled with OCD her whole life, along with other mental and physical health problems. When she told me she struggles with OCD, it all made sense and it explained a lot.
I wish she would have told me she struggled with that earlier in my life. She could have told me freshman year of high school, when I was at my worst, and told her I was struggling with stuff mentally. At the time when I told her, instead of opening up about her health problems, she denied my struggles and made me feel so alone and like I was crazy. I don’t know why she waited so long to tell me. For years, she has taken her anger out on me, treated me like crap, and maybe it’s because she’s been dealing with this personal issue and was just frustrated because of her mental health issues? I don’t really know.
I’m glad she told me, I’m glad she trusts me enough to tell me. I’m just upset that for years, she treated my health issues like they didn’t matter, then years later, after I’ve basically taught myself how to handle my health problems, she tells me. That information would have been really helpful in my earlier years.
When she told me about her mental health problems, I didn’t know how to respond. She asked me if I’ve ever struggled with mental health problems, and it made me both mad and sad. Am I supposed to remind her that I tried to tell her about what I was going through but she denied it so I just kept it from her? Am I supposed to admit all of my struggles to her and make her feel like a bad parent for not listening to me? I feel like it’s too late to tell her. I’ve spent so long taking care of my mental health by myself and I don’t want to worry her with my problems. I know if I tell her, she’ll panic more, feel like a bad parent, and make me feel bad for not opening up to her.
When she told me what she was struggling with, it dawned on me that I may be struggling with that also. What if I also have OCD and just haven’t noticed it? What if for years, I haven’t known I deal with this also and I need to get help for it? I don’t know if I should go to the doctor and see if I do have it or if I can get help for it? I don’t know what to do.


#2

thank you @nicole_kaley for sharing I have brother who has special needs and has some OCD in him my mom has OCD my sister has it also. You are not alone. I think talking about your struggle can be the healthiest thing to do. I recommend talking to you mom and your doctor and figuring out the best way to handle this

Hold fast


#3

I’m glad your mom finally decided to be open to you about what she’s going through. The best way to understand how you are feeling and what you may have is to speak to both a counselor and a psychiatrist so they can probably give you guidance and diagnoses. From there they can properly treat or medicate you for anything going on.

I know that can be scary sometimes but it’s so relieving to know and have it on paper so that moving forward you can have a better understanding of yourself and know how to confront it.

I wish you the best of luck.

-Kitty


#4

Hey @nicole_kaley, your post has spoken so much to me and I feel for you greatly. I’ve been struggling with a genetic condition that has caused great pain and discomfort throughout my life, and when I think back on growing up my parents never really asked or seemed interested in validating how I was feeling and so I also learned to deal with things as best as I could on my own. Only within the past 10 years after high school have they really been making an effort to support me as I navigate all this.

I guess my point is that our parents aren’t perfect and I don’t think it’s fair of us to expect them to be. It’s unfortunate the way your mom treated you in the past, but clearly she herself doesn’t have everything figured out and may need some support in figuring things out herself, and it definitely says something that she was able to trust you enough to open up to you. If you’re not ready to open up to her about everything first, I would definitely recommend talking to a professional if you haven’t already like Morgan and Kitty suggested. You may not get through this tomorrow, next month, or next year, but you have the strength to get there regardless of however long it takes you.

Wish you well, hold fast friend.


#5

@nicole_kaley

I’m sorry you and your mom are not in a good season. I hope things go well with you and your mom. Thank you for sharing.