I have some really bad medical issues regarding my physical health, and my mom knows about them but she doesn’t do anything about them, the issues I have are pretty bad (passing out due to pain, throwing up due to pain, vision problems due to pain) for some examples. You’d think a parent would take this stuff seriously, right? Well, not my mom. She has her own issues which makes her think my issues aren’t bad because she thinks her pain will always be worse. I talked to her about it and she told me I was manipulating her and making her feel bad.
I’ve also talked to her about the paranoia I go through, and the things I see/hear. (talked about this in more detail in another post) She thinks I’m seeing ghosts. My mother thinks I’m seeing ghosts. I know people have different opinions on the afterlife and spirits in general, I personally do believe in ghosts, so it’s not that I just don’t believe in ghosts in general, but I know that I am definitely not seeing ghosts. My mother, however, has watched a few tv shows on people who do see ghosts, and tells me I go through the ‘exact same thing’ and that I am ‘not crazy, just 100% psychic’. Once I did try and get her to believe me, she screamed at me that I was indeed crazy and mentally insane, and ran away.
I described everything wrong with my health to my mom in graphic detail, and it took her months to make me a doctor’s appointment. I told my dad I needed to see a doctor with no further explanation and he made me an appointment the next day. It’s just hard when my mom doesn’t take me seriously at all, then tries to manipulate me about it at the same time. Everything’s so goddamn difficult.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through all this. It sucks when parents aren’t there when we need them. Is your dad able to advocate for your health needs and help get stuff set up?
I just feel just such a weight you are dealing with and this is a great place to open up. It kills me that your mother is not taking this seriously. I will say I am so glad your father got you a doctor appointment right away. We all want our moms to take us seriously and seeing this just hurts.
Please do keep us updated on your journey through this healing and finding an answer with the doctor.
I’m so glad you came here to open up and place your emotions here.
You are Loved.
Morgan Vincent Hochstetler @MorganVinHoch
HS Intern
Hold Fast
thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry you are being gaslighted by your mom, the person that is supposed to protect you from harm. Your experience is valid and real and I truly hope you are able to get the treatment you need. You do not deserve to live in pain and confusion.
I’m sorry to hear that your mom is still not really listening to you. And I’m sorry this ended to be disappointing again. It’s not your fault. You did what was fair: reaching out. With her current issues, your mom is really not in the right position to support you, unfortunately. But you’ve been doing the right thing by reaching out to your dad as well - his reaction was perfect! I’m so glad he understands and doesn’t try to argue with what you say.
I hope your appointment will go well and you’ll be given the answers you need to understand what’s going on w/ your physical health. You’re definitely not crazy. And what you’re going through has to be taken seriously. But you also need the right people to listen, understand and support you. Given the circumstances, your dad is definitely that person for the moment - and so is this community, always.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Sometimes the people we love the most feel like they do not reciprocate those feelings, and that can hurt more than the pain we are already going through. It sounds like your mother does have some very serious problems, especially since she lashes out at you and then runs away. As a kid, it is really hard to know what a parent is going through because they rarely tell their kids about things like debt collectors, medical examinations, and substance abuse. I’m not saying anything like that is happening, but often the bridge to understanding is covered with misinformation. There is a reason she is doing this, and I would not close myself off to talking to her about it.
Concerning your pain, it’s very real and should never be downplayed. Find those moments of relief and covet them. Those could be hanging out with friends or even listening to your favorite podcast. Allow for the good to overshadow the bad; count your blessing rather than your curses. Each little victory makes the darkness of the valley appear a bit brighter. I’m praying for your situation Gracee, and I know you will get through it much stronger than before.