I feel that my mother is getting worse and worse. I have been taking care of my mother for almost half of my life and I have she has become a burden to me because of her age she is going to be 80 now in September and she is getting more dependent on me for basic things like moving things, cleaning and doing laundry.
I don’t have a problem doing these things but I feel I can’t for it for much longer. I don’t have a life my life is centered around my mother 24/7 she is afraid to be alone and I have to come straight home from work just to be with her. I am very angry with my two older brothers because they have basically abandoned their mother and they put excuses that they are busy with their jobs and they have families its wrong and immoral of them not to help out the three of us come from the same mother and they should at least call or text more often if my mother doesn’t call them they won’t call and it pains me to see my mother cry and worry for her kids especially when they don’t give a damn about her.
Ranma1983, your situation sounds really difficult. I haven’t been in your shoes, but I can try to empathize. It sounds like you are feeling a little resentful toward your mother, which by the way is totally understandable. I don’t know how old you are, but if she is 80 I’m willing to bet you have been taking care of her for a good amount of time. You put your life on hold for her and probably during a time when you would rather be making a family of your own or furthering a career like your brothers. I don’t have to be in that position to understand the bitterness that can come from that.
Please remember that forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person. Holding onto resentment and bitterness will only hurt you more. (not a guilt trip -->) Your mother would likely do the same if the situations were reversed and you needed long term care. You only get one of her and when she is gone that is it. Please, for yourself and for her, try to find a way to enjoy your remaining time with her. As for your brothers, try to go easy on them. They are probably feeling scared and guilty. Scared that they will be asked to give up what you have given up and guilty that they aren’t willing to.
I hope this comes to you with the love I intended it to. We are here for you! If you haven’t, please join the discord so we can all connect with you and be here for you.
How to find you on discord?
I sent you a direct message