Yesterday my mother lost her mind she hurried me up to leave the house but I couldn’t because I was shaving and showering after I came out of the shower she didn’t want to do laundry and she threw a tantrum and started going off on me and I lost with her I was yelling at her to stop and to grow up she was making personal insults about things that happened years ago about people I don’t even associate with or that are out of my life and I was very stressed that whole day my neck was bothering me, I couldn’t function properly and I didn’t want to see her. I’m tired of her acting like a child and throwing tantrums like a child and she needs to be more appreciative because I’m the only family she has and I’m the only one that gives a damn to look after because my two older brothers aren’t doing anything for her and all she does is put excuses for them. I’m tired of being used.
Sometimes dealing with older folks is really difficult, especially when they’re stubborn and set in their ways of doing things. I’m sorry you were so stressed by the exchange.
I don’t know if you c an sit with her, when you’re both in happier moods, and talk to her and lay out the expectations you each have of the other. You mentioned laundry, is there a certain set of tasks each person is expected to do to contribute to the house?
And yes, it would be nice if people recognized or efforts, but sadly, appreciation is hard to show sometimes, especially depending on culture and family norms, it’s hard to express things in words.
Hope things get better. You can prob look into some relaxation methods to help you manage these big emotions too, especially if you can’t change the actions of your mom.
Thank you for posting and I hear what you are saying with regards to your Mum getting angry with you and causing you tension.
it can be frustrating when your own parent doesn’t act in a way you expect or hope it can be demoralizing and a upsetting but our parents are human too and they get upset, annoyed frustrated, stressed and all the other emotions, good and bad that we have and unfortunately when you are in a house with the people that are having those intense emotions there are times when you will get caught up in them. That doesn’t mean that its ok for you to be shouted and raged at because it is not ok.
I would encourage you to wait until both of you are in a calm frame of mind and try to have a conversation with your mum, explain to her that you are concerned about the effect your relationship is having on you and ask if she is having the same problems and see if you can come to an understanding on how to deal with conflict better (preferably by talking not shouting)
Hopefully with some give and take and a little understanding you can both sort things out, the shouting can stop and the tension in your neck will ease.
Best of luck
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