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My narssasistc parent

I am now at the point of where my father is a narssasistic , controlling parent is making me not want to see him anymore .
He has done things that my mother doesnt like and that i dont like . For example , the situation i had a while back that was one of them. and now its lead to my father getting on my ass about coming over at 7:30 because thats so called dropped off time .
Now i just got told a couple days ago i had a so called physical that had to be done and i told my mother about it that night as that she had no clue it was happening and now i had a conversation with her yet again saying that i told my father NO and he didnt take that for an answer as he said he needs me to get it done for insurance reasons ( my mother told me he was lying) … i told him " i am not getting it done", “i do have a say in this”, " other adults do have to consent in this" … Before anyone has asked im NOT being disobiedient. when theres poor communication from divorced parents who still have guardianship over you they both have to agree on it and my mother didnt agree. Then i was told by my mother that “im not allowed to text her without my dads permission” “im not allowed to call her without his permission”…and what also i was told was that " hes struggling to parent because i ( mother) is moving to another city ( in the same state)." I had a long text with my mother telling her that i want to permanantly live with her cause i feel like this is a more healthy spot for me . oh and the conversations i have with my mother my father tracks with the thing he installed… I just want to be done with this i really do.

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Update : stuff got worse . a day apart. my mom emailed my father , and asked him to stay in his house he said no. my dad said he is worried about MY SAFETY when he’s the reason this happened. my mom wasn’t allowed through the gate. my dad basically lied to my face… wouldn’t even take me to my mother’s… was upset for 1-2 hours might of sprained a wrist and ankle … there’s a hole in the wall from my foot. stuff is broken from me… it took 40 minutes for my sister to come get me cause she was at college… i get told I cant be mad at my dad (my dad said that)… I’m honestly done oh and my mother told this is a civil suit she would have to take my father to… I am done… I’m done being stuck in adult issues while I’m an adult… this is mentally draining.

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Oh my gosh @all_around_ashley, I’m so sorry. It’s been going on for so long and I can’t imagine how exhausting this is for you. It’s awful that you are in the middle of them, somehow stuck in their contradictions and what seems like some kind of manipulation at least from one end. That’s not fair. It’s not surprising that you want it to be done! Your voice matters, guardianship or not. And there are clearly things there that are very intrusive to you - such as this tracker thing. You don’t deserve to be in the middle of this and suffer from it.

It sounds that the situation is getting more and more tense with them, bringing its share of heavy decisions like the civil suit. Is there any possibility for you to get a break from both of them just for a little while, like by staying with your sister for example? (I don’t know where she is in all of this, so sorry if this question is stupid).

I can’t imagine how it is to see this chaos around you, sharing your voice yet feeling like you’re talking to a wall. Know that your voice is heard here and always valued. I wish I could solve this situation instantly for you. I hope with all my heart that your dad - and your parents both - are going to be more reasonable and responsible in the future. There is such a paradox with you being in guardianship while you seem to be a lot more reasonable and understand the situation more clearly than they do.

I’m sending hugs your way. You’re not alone, Ashley. Keep us up to speed, okay? You’re loved. :hrtlegolove:

gosh, I am so sorry this drama and chaos has been going on so long with both parents having their own take on what’s best.

If they were given guardianship, is there any sort of formal guidelines they have to follow? Or is there like a caseworker or liaison you could contact to try to get your voice heard more? It really sounds like both your parents need some mediation to help them learn how to set common goals for your welfare and to get you to voice your opinion.

That tracker thing sounds so intrusive, and sounds like something that should be looked at. Maybe in a lot of ways a civil suit is a good idea, as it will open up the situation to more ‘outside’ eyes, who are more objective and not driven by ego or pettiness. Maybe mediation and family counseling could figure into a civil case as well, depending on where you are.

Again, I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this mess. You matter, and you’re loved, and honestly you deserve peace of mind and safety. Hope the coming days gets better for you. We’re here for you.

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my sister only came home to help me with my situation that was about it . then she goes back Friday ( today) to her college campus.

def. will keep this up to date.

  • ashley
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its more of a 50-50 time share since parents r divorced. But also more so my father , he needs to seek counseling and maybe my mother too. my mom is probably going to try and get sole custody of me and try to i should say.

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Hi Ashley, I recall from your other post that this is an ongoing problem that you are having, you seem to be trapped between your parents during a very difficult time for them and an impossible time for you because you don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. I don’t know what the answer is with regards to your rights on living with you Mum or being able to do certain things without both of your parents permissions firstly because I don’t know exactly what your situation is and because I don’t know the laws and rules that apply where you are.

I do know however that this is making you incredibly unhappy and frustrated and I can see why. I do think your parents are in a difficult position now that they have separated, each want the best for you but are both on different sides of the fence now how ever I think the use of “you are not allowed” is very unfair indeed and a decent sit down conversation where you can be heard and proper arrangements can be made that make everyone comfortable is very much overdue and for that I feel very sad for you indeed.

If you have any adult you can turn to who can make that happen I encourage you to ask them to do that, they need to let your parents know that even though they have their own problems, this is something that needs to be addressed, they both had a child and you are their priority no matter what.

I truly hope something gets sorted for you Ashley, I don’t think you are disobedient, I think you are just looking for love, clarification and support and we all want that.

Much Love

Lisa :heart:

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