My parents not likeing me

At this point I think my parents don’t like me my mom has tried to choke me,slapped me and with my dad he says I’m ugly,fat,useless,worthless but it’s this on and off thing where one day we will be fine and the next we won’t I hate it its ruining me and I can’t escape its been affecting my mental health ect.

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Hey @Jay,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing about what’s going on at home. It takes a lot of strength to talk about a situation like this, as it can bring a lot of deep emotions that we’re likely to turn against ourselves. You can be proud of yourself for reaching out as you do.

My heart breaks knowing how your parents treat you. I can assure you that none of this is your fault. You don’t deserve to be hurt in any way, and certainly not by your parents. Their role is to make you feel safe before anything else. The things you describe, what they did and said to you, is the result of issues they’re probably struggling with, on their end, but they should take the responsibility to work on themselves, not to hurt you like this.

I hear you when you say that not everyday is like this. I grew up with a mom who hurt me a lot too, but it was not always like this. Some days were really good and quiet, which made it difficult to not find excuses for her behavior. We naturally want our parents to love us, as much as we love them. But even if it’s not always chaos at home, it doesn’t mean that hurting you physically and emotionally would be right. There can be true love between you and your parents, but that’s not how love is shown. You deserve to feel safe, loved and respected, friend. Home should be a place where you would feel okay.

May I ask how old you are, and for how long has this situation been going on? I’d like to understand a little more how things are going at home, if that’s okay for you.

You’re not alone, friend. You are loved. And you’re not stuck in that situation. :heart:

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That situation is litterally ACTUAL ABUSE and even though it might seem like too much involvement you need to GET THE POLICE OR SOME SORT OF AUTHORITIES.

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It’s been going on for years now only just started getting bad sense the Start of 2020, I never feel safe at home only at times sometimes I get frustrated my parents won’t treat me like there child or at the point I just wish they would always stop liying

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I’m sorry it’s been going on for so long, @Jay. Home should be a place of safety. I can only imagine that this situation has been more intense with the lockdowns too.

How would you feel about the possibility to reach out to a helpline, or child protection services, and share about what’s going on at home? I’m aware this question can be scary by the way. I’m only asking right now, no worries.

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I’m very sorry what your going through I pray and hope you find a way out of it. Parents shouldn’t be putting you down or mistreating you.

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Cps has came and they left, cps didn’t help and I don’t want to call agian i don’t think it would be conserdid abuse because they are nice to me at times and I like those times I don’t want those moments to stop I just geuss I will have to deal with everything just so I can get that little amount of kindness from my parents and I think if I leave them those memories of from when I was a kid and watched my dad try to overdose come back I can’t handle everything its so Much and hurts to much my brain can handle this

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Hey there Jay,

Just want to chime in, and let you know that this IS abuse.

If you do some research into the cycle of abuse, you’ll note that 3/4 stages are actually parts where nothing is happening. Of course each situation is different but in my experience this was very accurate!

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I second what others have said, you need to bring this up to trusted adults in your life. CPS, or other authorities are important resources that you can use. I know the nice moments are nice, but they don’t forgive the bad moments, and this cycle is going to continue until something breaks it. Being treated well is never an excuse for abuse.

Kiwi

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I geuss it is abuse but how do I escape cps did nothing about it and my reiltives are far away and I don’t have contact with them I really wanna escape but idk how well I do have contact with my grandparents on my dad’s side (the more abusive parent) and they belive my dad and not me and for my moms side both of her parents are dead and I don’t have contact with my uncle hopefully I can find a way to talk to them and stop it or something else because the abuse and stuff has been getting more scaier lately

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Unfortunately Jay I think there’s a higher chance of it getting worse instead of better.

I would reach out to trusted adults in your life, teachers, guidance counselors, police, those types of people. They’ll be able to get you access to resources you need.

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In most communities you can dial 211, and they can help you connect to someone who can assist you, at least by providing some therapy.

I actually went to the police station and begged them to take me out of my home. They offered no assistance. In fact, they notified my parents instead. That was a very long time ago, and there was no such thing as a 211 helpline. I ended up coping by staying away from home as much as possible.

If you end up talking to CPS, or therapist, emphasize to them that it’s becoming more scary to you. It might get their attention.

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Yeah I will try to tell my therapist in group therapy tomorrow and try to get help but it seems scary everyone there (there’s like 11 people in it) and them hearing what I’ve been through seems so embrassing and scary but hopefully this helps

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