Hey everyone. this is my first post here so I’m not really sure what I’m doing lol. sorry if this isn’t how this works.
Ive been struggling with porn for the past 7 years of my life and it’s been tough. recently though, it’s the worst it’s ever been
ive been watching a lot of gay porn. now before anyone freaks out just know that I’m as far away from homophobic as possible, but I myself am not gay. I think I’ve just gotten so bored of straight porn that I’m forcing myself to watch and partake in something I don’t even enjoy. it’s gotten bad and, to be honest I feel absolutely hopeless
I also started downloading chatting apps so I can have very inappropriate conversations with other men because the porn doesn’t do it for me now. I don’t do it because I want to do the things I’m describing, but because I just want validation. I want to feel attractive and desired. and tonight I’ve hit absolute rock bottom
I’m sharing this, even though I feel like I’m the only one in the world struggling with this specifically, to try to help anyone else who is struggling with something similar to this. just know your self worth isn’t in approval from strangers on the internet who will say anything just so they can have sex and know that you’re so much better than porn. even though it’s incredibly hard you can do it.
Hey friend, welcome to Heartsupport!
There’s no right or wrong way to post on the support wall, but thank you for sharing your experience. While I have no first hand experience, I do have an ex with a sex/porn problem, and there is help out there for when you’re ready
You’re welcome! Take it a day at a time, we’re here to help and support any way we can so feel free to post even if it’s just as a distraction from it all
This is a bit of a late response on my end, but thank you so much for sharing about your addiction. It’s very, very strong of you. Addictions can bring so much shame in the heart of the person who struggles, yet being vulnerable and honest as you just did is a powerful way to break down the lies you might think about yourself.
You are definitely not alone in your struggles. Many people face porn addiction in their life, but not everyone talks about it. Here on the forum, there’s a tag dedicated to porn and sexual addiction. In itself, it is a reminder that the struggles that isolate us the most can actually be shared in safe places in order to recover.
I don’t do it because I want to do the things I’m describing, but because I just want validation. I want to feel attractive and desired. and tonight I’ve hit absolute rock bottom
This is a powerful statement. Brilliant. Really, to be aware of this. Just being aware of it will allow you to open new doors in your own journey. Understanding why there is an urge to do something that doesn’t even fulfill us is so important. It’s at the core of what causes you this pain that you try to manage as you can. Overall, having such perspective about yourself is a major step. You can be proud of yourself for being aware of what motivates you into porn consumption.
I’m sharing this, even though I feel like I’m the only one in the world struggling with this specifically, to try to help anyone else who is struggling with something similar to this. just know your self worth isn’t in approval from strangers on the internet who will say anything just so they can have sex and know that you’re so much better than porn. even though it’s incredibly hard you can do it.
These words apply to you, friend. You are stronger than your addiction. And your struggles don’t define you.
I hope, in times to come, that you will allow yourself to seek help if the burden of healing is too heavy to carry on your own. There are support groups for example that can always be a good resources when it comes to addictions of all kind. You’re not alone. Your self-worth goes so much beyond than the places where you’ve been try to find it. You being you is all the world need, and your heart too. You will thrive.
