My wife and I just went through a major trial of infidelity in our marriage and I thought we moved past it but recently she told me that she is still unhappy and feels trapped and that our relationship is bad for her. She hasn’t given me a clear answer as to if she wants to divorce yet. But I can’t handle this up and down and her to and fro shifting emotions. I feel totally helpless in this situation and I don’t want to lose my wife but I ultimately almost want to pull back from her and make her resent me to make this decision as easy as possible for her. I feel sick knowing that I might end up losing her. But I’m also very sick of the back and forth shifting feelings about us that I feel it will almost bring me peace to cut the ties and move on without her.
I battled with this in my marriage heavily in the last handful of years of our marriage. It was very difficult and emotionally conflicting. I too grew exhausted of the back and forth and inconsistencies and finally just came out with how I was feeling.
Communication is key. Whether just taking a moment to sit down and discuss what you both do and don’t want or the help of couple therapy. For me, I just needed a break as it became toxic for me. So we separated and eventually agreed to divorce.
I hope that you’re able to work it out. I know how hard it is to fight for a marriage, to be stuck in back and forth emotions and even the process of separation and divorce. I hate that you’re having to experience that at all.
If you ever need a friend. I’m only a message away. I’m on limited WiFi, so I may be slow to response, but I will definitely get back to you as I’m able to get somewhere with a connection!
So much love to you