I’ve been really down lately. We’re not married, but we’ve been together for 5 years. (29F, 28M)The last three years of my life have been lonely and depressing. I don’t do any of the things I used to like doing.
We’re basically room mates at this point. I hate it. She barely talks to me. She doesn’t say good night, she just goes to bed. When I come home (she works much shorter days than me) she says nothing. She is very unhappy with her job, always complains how much she hates it. She says it’s repetitive (science lab). She’s got a PhD and regrets the time put into it. She resents me for having a 2 year degree and being “happy” with my job (I’m not).
If I bring up my problems they just aren’t as big as hers and are not important, and fuck me for even bringing them up! Don’t I know that someone cut her off on the highway today?! How could I be so wrong?! Doesn’t matter that I feel like I want to kill myself on a regular basis.
Why don’t I end it? Probably because I am so very close to the edge that any further trauma would push me over. I don’t know how to fix it. I want to tell her that I don’t see a point to this relationship and that she needs to change. I don’t know how to word it, or if I even care. I wanted to have kids someday, but I do not want to be her partner.