I am currently crying while writing this. My sister just said that she hates me and my mom and my dad is better at giving her the support she needs. Which is bullshit because he hasn’t booked a SINGLE doctors appointment for her anorexia or agoraphobia. I love my sister, but I have never seen her be mean and selfish on purpose. She was just on the phone with my mom saying it was her fault she’s depressed and wants to hurt herself. So tomorrow she’s moving into my dads house in another state and my mom and I are absolutely crushed. My mom is the most giving and supportive mother one could ask for. She is my support system, my beam of hope in tough times. I don’t know what my sister thinks is going to happen, but my dad is not the answer. I can’t deal with the emotional baggage of this situation and it’s weighing me down in a way where I can’t breathe. We can’t afford therapy so that isn’t an option. I can’t talk to my mom about my problems because hers are so much worse that I don’t want her to deal with mine. I can’t talk to my dad because he sucks. My stepdad and I aren’t in the kind of relationship to deal with this. I’m stuck. I have no where to go. No one to talk to. I don’t want to live anymore, but the thought of hurting my mom even more is the reason I keep living. I don’t have any friends to talk to and because of COVID I haven’t been able to make friends at my new high school. I’m so buried and I have no way out. I really need some encouragement, but I have no where to get it. I just need someone to talk too.
Oh my goodness friend I would give you a big hug if I could right now I am really sorry you are going through all of that. I am sure you feel super uneasy about your sister and the stress of that situation. You feel so much strong emotion at the moment because of this new change that is coming. Breathe your way through it. Do something to express your feelings that you enjoy. Listen to music that reflects how you feel, do art, write, journal. You and your mom are gonna be okay. You WILL get through this. And im really sorry you have not made friends at your new highschool! High school is so hard. I graduate next year but the friend situation has never been easy for me either. My greatest friends are my internet friends. The struggle is real, so you arent alone haha! Please keep us updated on how you are feeling through this. You’re loved.
Hey @Mak, thank you for sharing with your community. I know what your sister has said or done is really awful and mean spirited. I am not here to tell you what to feel but know that your sister is in a really low place right now. It sounds like there is a lot going on in her life between her anorexia and agoraphobia and whatever else she might be dealing with. Sometimes when people are at their lowest and others are just trying to help they lash out because they might not think they want the help, if that makes sense. I just want you to know that it’s not your fault or your mom’s. Sounds like you were just trying to be there for your sister and be supportive. Unfortunately we can be the biggest support system in the world for someone but unless they actually want that help and want to change they’ll kind of be stuck in their ways and maybe even feel like they are being ganged up on when that is not the case at all. I want you to focus on what you can right now, what you have control over. Your sister is deciding to move out and live with your dad, you can’t control that but you can look into talking with your mom. Don’t brush your problems aside because you feel like they are miniscule compared to your mom’s. How you are feeling and what you are going through is just as important. I think it would be good if you can open up with your mom and talk, be there for each other and open with one another. You’d be surprised how much better you’ll both feel knowing you both are not alone. You have each other and are going through a pretty similar situation that you can both relate to. It sounds like your mom is wonderful, a great support system, so be that for her also. This feeling is only temporary and I believe that you can push through it. Focus on you, focus on what makes you happy, focus on fostering and even better relationship with your mom, focus on your school, getting good grades and making new friends. I am not saying to ignore what is going on right now or to brush it off but take it one step at a time and do what you can to focus on your mental health and getting into a better place. Stay strong and hold fast.
Thanks for the help.
That actually makes a lot of sense. I will try to talk to my mom about this tonight.
I’m feeling a lot better after a nights rest, with a clearer mind and better perspective.
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