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My soul is murdered

There is nothing which could help

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Hi friend. I just want you to know that you matter.
What you have gone through matters.
What you are feeling is valid.
These things that you have gone through and have faced are painful but they do not take away from your value or your deserving of love.

I know it must be hard. I see you. I hear you.

Sending love.

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Hi @Pglone,

I know you edited your post, and I’m sorry because I saw what you posted earlier.

I really want you to know that you’re not alone right now. We see you and we are aware of what you’re going through.

You don’t deserve to be treated like this and I am so sorry. What you describe is sexual assault. It’s not your fault. And ending your days is not a solution. I promise there is still hope. You said you talked about it to someone else and they didn’t believe you. Well, they should listen to you when you share such important things. You are brave. You were already brave enough to share about it here with us.

I want to encourage you to reach out to a sexual assault hotline: 800.656.4673 for United States or https://hotline.rainn.org/online. It is safe, confidential and you can talk about what happened as much as you need. Maybe you can also find local services where you live to get counseling and concrete support: https://centers.rainn.org/

We’re here for you. You matter and you are not alone.

Sending much love to you. :heart:

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@Pglone I also saw what you posted before you changed it and if you want the truth, I didn’t know how to respond. I sat here for two hours looking at the screen, hoping for inspiration. As a sexual abuse survivor myself, it’s a hard subject to talk about. Good on you for taking this big step, for reaching out and posting what’s going on in this forum. It’s a hard thing to deal with while you’re going through it and it’s hard to deal with the aftermath of what comes to you from it emotionally.

I’m so sorry for what your step father is doing to you. It’s unacceptable that he violates your body, and it’s unacceptable that he abuses you in any way. It’s not ok. I agree with MicrosmosK. You need to find a safe place to go. There are things that will help, but you need to get out of the environment you’re in first. Use the information MicrosmosK shared and ask for help.

I can tell you that in your life, there are a lot of people who aren’t going to believe you, but there are just as many who will believe you. The people who believe you and are gentle with you and love you as you are… they are your people.

:hearts:

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But there is no such this thing Where I live.there is no one to help if any one understands what I’m going through the only thing she /he would do is running away from I have no family who cares I have no such friend but I’m accepted person in area I study and work because I show up like a happy no problem in her life girl that is rich and everything in her life is complete so I can’t say anything Iam not child but I can’t run away from him he has lots of evidence from me to send me to jail and hi noticed that 1000 times so there is no way i can reach with my mind

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or what you haven’t done, or what you think you might have done. You don’t deserve to be physically and sexually abused. You’re right in that sexual abuse by “family” is rape. It’s just given a different name. There isn’t anything in your life that you may or may not have done that makes you deserve to be raped repeatedly. Please check out and reach out to the organizations that MicrosmosK suggested. They might be able to help you. Even if they aren’t in your area, they might be able to suggest something that will help you. If they don’t have something, at least you can say you tried. Don’t just take it. Do something outside of your immediate surroundings to try to change it.

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And then I can die in peace?

@Pglone,

Whatever you did before, you don’t deserve threats.
You don’t deserve to be assaulted.
You don’t deserve to be brutalized and harmed.
You don’t deserve to live in such an environment.

You deserve respect, love and security.

Whatever you did before, he’s the one who could go to jail right now. He’s the one who should be afraid of the consequences of what he did to you.

We understand what you’re going through. I can tell that we can even understand it in our core, as something shockingly violent and intimate. Yet we are here and we care. We care about you. We’re not going to run away and we’re not going to ignore what you said. We want you to be safe. If you told what’s happening to others before and they ran away, then they’re at fault. When someone share something like this, then listening, understanding and trying to help is not an option but a duty. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Being sexually assaulted doesn’t make you less human. It doesn’t allow others to reject or ignore you. You didn’t ask for this. And it’s not your fault.

I understand you may feel stuck right now and exhausted. And it’s unfair to ask you to take actions when you’re struggling. But you can go on that recovery road. And for that you need external help. You need to get out of this environment. To be away from him. I can only echo what Daisy said too. Please, reach out to any confidential service in your country, even if it’s just by calling a phone number or reaching out to an online chat. People who work there know procedures, they’re listening, they have directories of local services depending on your needs so they can redirect you. Do it when you’re alone. If it’s stressing you, delete you phone calls after that or use your Internet browser in private mode.

I know it’s scary. And if he threatened you so many times, it’s certainly because he wants you to be afraid. Yet you came here. So I want to believe that deep inside, you know he’s wrong, and you know we’re here to bring you different perspectives. Positive ones. And I really don’t want to stress you by saying this. I just want you to be safe.

You have the right to say what’s going on. Your voice matters. You matter.

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