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My spoons are low , me mentally im not here

Something ive said on social media talked about how i am feeling now , what im feeling in the moment what causes me to be down what causes my mind to drag me down . what causes my spoons to be at 0 instead of 50 .
ok
This is just what the hell im feeling rightnow . But This is not exactly me . this is me being in the situation of being told im sorry to me . Im the person whos just the base of existence. im just the one who im just there as nothing but in your eyes im something different . something with no limit, no boundaries. Im just this human who suffures with issues with a disorder with a disability with mental health yet alone im existing for my own sake . Im still here because i deserve to . AM i aching mentally rightnow because of stress? yes i am . can i do anything to prevent it? hell yes ? But can i open my mouth when i need to yes but do i choose to sometimes yeah kinda. Did i get told ill be missed because i wont be around them ? yes. am i my own human who deserves love, who deserves to live life with less stress. Hell yes. Then why the heck am i in an endless cycle of stress , depression , anxiety , breakable . why the damn am i writing this just because i am broken . what the heck people. it sucks when you have to play the victum card when someones being super needy/ emotionally needy and plus hours or even days before you ghost them because you just dont want to talk to them because they value you more then you do to them . Im tired of feeling like i need to live up to expectations of needing to let them know im different im going through my own shit. What the hell does it take to say im sorry ill step back or im sorry i didnt ask you about boundaries. or even say im sorry i dont know what you see me in . Anyways, im stressed i cant focus i just dont know what to do i just need someone rightnow . But me needing someone does that make me needy?

Im done being broken im done feeling like i have to look up and comply to what they see it as . im just tired in general being this board and being walked on . im tired of feeling like what i feel doesnt exist. I just wish things will get better.

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Hope is what keeps us going. Never give up on that. You have a purpose. Dont apologize for how you feel. Never be invalidated. We feel because we are human and have an innate feeling to belong.
You are not broken. You are scattered. You are rebuilding the pieces. What would life be without challenges?
I’m sure you have some hobbies that you enjoy that were once difficult at some point. That challenge served as a chance to overcome something that felt great when you did. Look at this challenge as a chance to grow.
You belong.

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Hi Ashley,

You needing someone or something doesn’t dub you a “needy” person. Every single one of us need someone sometimes. We all hurt. We all struggle. We all go through ups and downs. So no, you are not categorized as a “needy” person just because in this moment you need something. You aren’t broken. Even with having certain disabilities, that doesn’t mean you are broken. And it’s okay to wish that people for once would just recognize. Because yes, it does get tiring when you have to explain yourself time and time again. I get tired of it too. I get tired of being miss understood and miss judged and having my struggles overlooked all the time and having to try to explain to people all of the time so they can finally just understand what’s going on. It gets very tiring. I know.

I’m sorry if me telling you to tell someone how you feel bothered you. I know how frustrating telling people things over and over is. I hate that we have to do it all of the time. That it’s a thing that has to happen. It sucks.

And yes it’s okay to need space from other needy people. It’s okay to not have the same feelings as someone else. It’s okay to not like someone as much as they like you. It’s okay to set boundaries. Yes, sometimes that means communicating on your part but it is okay to not have the same feelings as someone else. Be it a friendship, a romantic relationship or something else.

Your feelings are valid my friend.

I’m sorry that you continue to be miss understood by people around you and continue to have to feel like you always have to communicate when you just need a break.

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thank you friend i really appreciate yah

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