Alright, this is mostly just me needing to somehow get this mess out of my head.
I’ve been going by they/them pronouns for quite some time but lately I’ve felt as though he/him does not sound all that bad either. So, I guess they/he? I don’t know. I don’t mind being addressed as he. But only in english? I’m not so fond of being referred to as he in my native language (which is german).
This whole gender, sexuality and pronouns thing has been nothing but a huge rollercoaster since about three years.
There also aren’t really words in german, we can use to refer to someone that goes by they/them (or at least i have never come across anything really suitable I felt comfortable with, nor did any of my friends). My parents do know I identify as enby and they support me, which is really awesome. Though they still refer to me as their daughter which makes me uncomfortable on some days. Most days I can ignore it. I tried to explain the whole pronoun thing to my mother earlier and although she did not quite understand, she tried her best and shows support.
I also do not like my birth name, since it’s obviously a girl name. I changed my name to Aidan basically everywhere that’s online. I just don’t know how to possibly address that to my parents. I’m not scared of them not supporting me, because I know they do and always will. I’m afraid they won’t understand.
Yeah, it’s all really just a huge mess which tends to become really frustrating at times.