My Suicidal Thoughts Story

Hello there!

I just want to share my dark story. I was bullied at school when I was a kid. They called me CRAZY or KRUNG-KRUNG (in Filipino Gay language). I was sad and depressed because of bullying. Same as high school and college, I was bullied again. I felt crying and trauma because of severe discrimination. I tried to kill myself and I was attempted several times. I was diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 3 and I suffered Bipolar II Disorder at adult stage but ASD is still there (no cure). I took a yoga class with Maxene Magalona to cure my BPII and suicidal thoughts. And I discovered the beatboxer with beautiful voice, a Japanese-American who inspired Bobby MacFerrin and his name is Gene Shinozaki. I literally listen to his music on Youtube channel like Daily Beats and I joined his livestream for Lo-Fi Weekends in 8 to 10 hours. I tried to convo with him and make a song. I tried to write a lyrics for him (he composed music) and he sang it. That’s my therapy, writing lyrics. And also dancing because I love to move and also my therapy. Thanks for sharing my dark story!


Hey there, @daanii.himawari :wave:t2:

First of all, a great welcone to the community! I hope you find it useful and helpful. It takes real strength to open up to a new community, the community is here for you all the way. It’s horrific that you’ve faced bullying and discrimination in various times of your life. This is such a painful experience, which nobody should have to go through.

It’s clear to see you’ve found peace within Yoga and Beatboxing. Both Yoga and music habd great power in helping our healing and recovery. The fact that you have taken action to ensure this helps you, shows your determination, strength and courage. I too, use music to help me with my mental health struggles, because simply it speaks volumes that emotions never could.

You appear to be a very creative person. Like I said, there is great power in creative expression - whether this is music, art or drama. Using this creative expression and your unique voice, will help to inspire and encourage others. I would love to hear some of the lyrics you write!

Lastly, I’d like you to know that you are far from defined by your mental health. The wrath placed on you by the harmful words and actions is unfair, cruel and doesn’t help your recovery in any way. Please know that you are strong, brave age very creative

It’s been a pleasure replying to you Dani! :blue_heart:

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Thank you so much for your support!

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