I thought seeing a therapist was supposed to help not traumatize. My therapist was mediocre but they were better than nothing. I have had terrible luck with therapists so it’s super hard for me to mesh with most and it’s virtually impossible to trust one.
I’ve had a couple of shady therapists prior to the one that unceremoniously dropped me as a client, so I’m starting to think maybe I’m the problem. I don’t seem to know how to stop obsessing about how badly I was treated by this insufferable woman who wore club dresses and cheap heels and talked about her own problems on my dime.
But I am pissed. She was incredibly rude and dismissive and thin skinned because I asked her what the value of telling me so many stories drawn from her personal history that rarely seemed applicable or useful to me. It’s been bugging me since it happened and it’s really making me feel like crap.
About ten minutes before my session she called and said she couldn’t have me as a client anymore but she could help me look for some numbers. Never mind she was in an office with other providers who were still practicing. She basically left me hanging and had the nerve to charge me for the session that she cancelled! I’m just really needing to vent. I am not the best client personality wise. I’m moody and I don’t like impractical hippie nonsense or mush mouth platitudes. But I am on time, my insurance reimburses providers in a timely fashion and I pay my co-pay in cash. I know what my issues are (anxiety, depression, ocd and autism) and I just want to find a decent therapist to help me. Also is there anything I do about this therapist just abandoning me without a referral or notice? Thank you for letting me vent.
I’m sorry that you were dropped by your therapist especially when it was close to your session time. With therapy it might take awhile to find a therapist that truly connects with you and that is okay. However in this case it sounds like she was unprofessional if she dropped you minutes before a session. You have every right to feel hurt you weren’t expecting that to happen. You mentioned that she talked about her issues while she was working with you. If she did that is unprofessional because therapy is supposed to be about you not the therapist. The therapist might use something from their past as an example to correlate to something you mentioned but nothing more than that. You also have every right to question what her stories mean and how they correlate to you, again the goal of therapy is to help you. If she was rude and thin-skinned then that is someone you may not want to be working with because say another client tells her something that might be difficult for that person to share and she is dismissive towards that. That client would not feel valid or that their concern might be blown off. It hurts, it sucks and is painful what she did but she sounds like someone that maybe truly wasn’t a good fit for you and may not have truly helped you in the long run. As far as getting connected to a therapist you can either go through insurance, your doctor and research therapists who specialize in your specific concerns. There are better therapists out there it’s just a matter of getting matched to one. Keep hanging in there and know that you can talk about anything and everything on heart support no judgement.
Hi @SigridB. I agree with mufcninja. It doesn’t sound like this was the therapist who was the best for you. A good therapist will treat you in the way you need to be treated. I could be wrong, but it sounds to me almost like she was trying to be your “friend” rather than someone who helps you with your issues. There’s nothing wrong with a professional who acts like they’re trying to be your “friend;” a lot of people will respond better to someone who feels as if they’re a friend, but that’s only if you actually want the person to act that way. Some people prefer a more professional approach, and so that’s the way they should be treated. A lot of people have trouble finding a therapist who works well with them, so don’t feel bad that you haven’t found the one yet. It’s great that you are trying.
Unfortunately for the patient, any medical professional is allowed to tell you they don’t want to see you again. Sometimes it’s in the doctor’s best interest to not see a patient anymore, for a variety of reasons, and they can tell the patient at any time to never come back. Or maybe they don’t think they can help the patient. It stinks that your therapist waited until the last minute, but she does have that right, and she doesn’t have to give you a referral. Again, it doesn’t sound like she was a good therapist for you. I know it’s hard to see it this way, but maybe this was a blessing in disguise: you’re being sent on to the next therapist, who will hopefully be a better one.
If you haven’t done this, I would like to suggest that when you start searching for a new therapist, to find one who specializes in your specific issues. Try to find one who can help with at least two of your issues. It’s better if they can help with all of your issues, but I think it’s important that the therapist specializes in autism, plus at least one of the other three, the one that you have the worst trouble with. If you aren’t sure where to start looking, call your insurance company and ask them if they have any professionals on file who specialize with the issues you mentioned. A good insurance company can refer you, and then you can investigate the therapists on your own before deciding if you want to see one of them.
That’s really hard. I’m really sorry that you had to go through that.
I also have autism. I saw a therapist a few years ago that really wasn’t working for me. She was a sweet lady, but I struggled with her as her expertise was not with people who are on the spectrum. Nor were previous therapists.
When you have connected with therapists have you been looking for ones that specialize and expertise with persons and families who have autism? Because I have found that this makes a huge difference. There is an understanding that not all other therapists can really fully understand if they are not properly experienced.
My previous therapist was amazing. They can help you in areas that you struggle with the right methods for someone with autism. And understand your way of thinking better than others.
I think that as long as you are open to your therapists, willing to listen that they can help you. Be honest with how you are feeling about their methods but try not be moody and difficult. They are just trying to help <3
I hope that you are able to find someone that can work for you. See if someone around you is specialized with people on the spectrum. It may go way better for you!
I still believe that you should find a therapist that works with people with autism, even though that isn’t the main reason you go to see them. They will be able to understand how your brain processes things better than someone who hasn’t studied it. It’s ultimately up to you of course, and as DearKoyangi said, just be open about everything if you don’t. A lot of doctors go into the profession to help, not to harm. I’m glad to see you’ve looked into finding a new therapist and that you’ve looked into the behavior of your old one, and also that she refunded you.
When I was seeing my therapist. It wasn’t exactly what brought me to see her either. However, it’s still nice to have a therapist that understands the mind of those who are on the spectrum. They still have an understanding that not all others can have. It isn’t about “HEY, YOU HAVE AUTISM, you need to go talk to someone about that!” -
You just may find that they work better for you because they can have an understanding that others may not be able to have. My therapist and I focused a lot on my trauma. As she was a trauma therapist who specialized in anxiety, depression and other things. It wasn’t centered around my autism. But it did help to have that understanding. For me. Maybe for you it’s different.
I’m glad to hear that you got your copays back. If anything you should have that. As for finding another therapist research all possibilities and then go with what you think will work for you. At the end of it all it comes down to you having proper treatment.
