Need guidance and help

hi everyone,

over the last months ive been watching heart support, it took long to post something on here.

ive been feeling helpless more in life, i have lost friends whether it would be death, leaving or ghosting… im not sure where life is taking me. i have been feeling depressed and stressed about my future.

ive also been involved in a poly relationship and im a christian, i get jealous all the time and the person i love i hurt with my jealously and trust… i love this person and i dont want to let them go. im afraid to be alone. my family has turned away from me. she’s the only friend that i have at the moment.

please just guidance…or hope please. anything…

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Hey @allweekend124, I’m very glad you found the courage to make a post and become an official member/participator :smile:

Since you’ve been here quite a while, I’m sure you’re already aware of how many others here are struggling with feeling hopeless and dealing with lack of intimate support. I’m sorry you’re feeling so depressed and stressed. It’s not okay. I do want to share with you that I have seen life get magnitudes better for myself and others around me.

I think by making this post you’ve taken a leap towards being more connected and finding more hope. Reading people’s stories, relating, posting my own stories, and generally feeling support and giving support with this community has helped me feel much more connected since I’ve joined. It makes me feel like I’m in this together with these people around me, and we’re all fighting as a community to overcome the poor environments we’ve been brought up in and love each other through the struggle. It’s awesomely beautiful to me to band together like this.

I feel your jealously and fear of being alone. I was soooooooo jealous all the time over the person I was in my last serious relationship with. I was terrified of her cheating and leaving me for years while we were together. In ways, your situation must be more intense since you’re in a poly relationship with this person you love :frowning_face: I found out that my fear was largely in me, and going to therapy helped me start working through a lot of my fears and jealousy. I’m not “all better”, but I’ve made a lot of progress through a lot of hard work and days crying in therapy.

I hope you stay here and find some connection with the people here. It won’t be everything you need, but I think it can give you the much needed support and love you need so you can love yourself enough to form healthy relationships in your in-person environment.

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Hey @xTimeRemains

thank you for the reply. thank you for reaching out and sharing with me. its hard to reach out for help. but i feel like this is the beginning. i love this person alot and i would hate to lose them, they’re precious and very close to me.

my fear in life is losing everyone i love and care about, ive been trying to accept the relationship as is. i just get jealous when im excluded from family events or seeing her on certain days.

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:slightly_smiling_face: I’m glad you’re seeing this as the beginning!

Have you talked with her about how you feel?

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i have not im currently in the process of leaving work. i will be heading over to her place right after and i can let you know and provide an update after.

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Ok! Also I hope you don’t feel rushed by me asking, you can totally take some time to think out how to talk about this with her

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Did you end up talking with her?

I think that you know what you have to do and you really really really don’t want to do it so you are looking for alternatives. I don’t think that there are any. If you’re in a polyamorous relationship and you are in love with two people and you can’t love one without making the other hurt, you have to choose. It sounds like you’re getting hurt, too. Who’s having fun in this relationship?

Yes, this will be the end of an era in your life, but if nobody in the poly relationship is happy, then it’s about to come crashing down, anyway.