Need help and advice?

hello guys ! im having a hard time. i got back from a therapy session and it was j so unsuccessful? i asked for advice on how to overcome religious trauma , i asked for exercises or stuff i could do to help me feel better. i didnt like any advice i got. i j feel like my therapist doesnt know what hes doing. can anyone help or talk? thanks :frowning:


Hello, thank you for sharing here!

You’re taking all the right steps in reaching out for help, yet aren’t getting the results you deserve! That sounds so frustrating and difficult.

If you don’t feel like your therapist is the right fit for your needs, remember that it’s okay to “shop around” for an alternative therapist. Not every therapist is right for everyone. Some therapists even specialize in religious matters and may be better at understanding and helping with what you’re going through.

If you’d like, I’d also like to invite you to share more about what you’ve gone through in terms of religious trauma (either here or in a new topic). We won’t be able to give you much advice and are not a replacement for therapy, but we do care about you and would love to support you.

You are a valued, wonderful person who can work through this. I’m proud of you for reaching out and working on your mental health, and am wishing you the best as you navigate these challenges.

<3 Tuna


Yes, religious trauma can be one of the worst kinds. I sometimes refer to myself as a “recovering Catholic.” In my childhood, I was sexually molested at a Catholic school and at the same time, the same thing was happening at home. I was convinced that God was disgusted with me and I deserved to be scared and miserable, and I was extremely so. My parents were hyper religious and delusional. In addition, my mom was bipolar/schizophrenic and I’m pretty sure she had borderline personality disorder as well. One of her disciplinary tactics was to threaten me with demon possession.

I think the only therapist who can really understand is one who has experienced similar trauma. With that said, therapists need to be able to understand enough to empathize with what their patient is experiencing. I don’t know what kind of exercises he was suggesting, but it sounds like he failed in getting you to understand their purpose.

I feel as though my horrible childhood is mostly behind me and the triggers that remain, I can deal with. I think one of my milestones towards recovery involved recognition that I had to get over the idea that religion was inherently good. I know it sounds absurdly simplistic, but my child logic reasoned that if religion is good, I must be bad because I hated it. It’s surprising how long it took to get past that after having lived and breathed that belief for so many years.

People are people. There are both good and bad people in churches. When a church person does something bad, it’s even more devastating because emotionally, it feels as though the faith spoken of in the church has been betrayed.

I don’t know what kind of exercises can be of benefit other than introspection and developing a level of compassion and forgiveness that’s often not found inside of a church.

Another exercise is to come back here and talk about it when you feel the need. Even if our advice is not useful, I think it still helps to know someone cares about you.

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Hey :slight_smile:
Sucks to hear that your therapy session didn’t go as planned, as someone who also attends therapy, it can really be hit or miss.
This part really struck me,

Because, yeah, maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s kinda off-putting to realize this, but he could simply not be the right therapist for you. Therapists are only human and sometimes they can do more harm than good, but please know that they really do want the best for you, even if they don’t always have the best advice.
Take some time to think, are there any other therapists near you and in your budget range? Or even better, specialists who are more adept to help with religious trauma?
Regardless, I do hope that you get the help you are looking for. Posting here is a great way to just get ideas out in the world, we are here for you and do want to see you grow through your trauma.
Keep us posted!! I hope it all goes well! :smiley:

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Hello notdead!

No fun when you are trying to get help, but don’t feel like its helping at all. I went through a couple therapist before I found the one that was right for me. It ended up being one that specializing in what I go through. He was actually at the same office as one of the worst personal therapy experiences I have had. Had I not found the one that I definitely didn’t vibe with, I would have never stumbled upon the one I do. This was after scratching a couple therapists off the list through, not having success with them.

This being said. I think all mental health professionals have people who they will connect with, and people who they don’t. I’m not sure how many times you have seen the person, and how big your sample size is on them being right for you. If you have other options available to try after giving the one you have an opportunity to help, you have every right to make a switch to a new one. You have goals in your well being, if someone isn’t helping to move those goals a long, after a period of time you have to move the search on for someone who will.

Hope you are doing well! - Thrice