My friend, let’s call him A, cut his entire thighs and forearms this week and I don’t know how to help him. I want him to get help but he can’t tell his mom or it’ll make it worse and i’m not sure what to offer him that will help. I offered this website but he refused. I want to do all that I can but everytime he talks about it or shows me it I just want to breakdown and cry. He means a lot to me and I just want to help him be happy. What should I do? Are there any websites that offer free therapy?
Why did he do that ?
I’m glad he has you as a friend, you seem very caring and kind. If I were you, I would just continue to be there for him and show him nothing but love. It’s good that you offered this website to him, maybe he’ll come around and check it out at some point! The most important thing in all of this is to be there for him and show him that you understand what he’s going through and care about the situation. You could offer the website BetterHelp, which is a website that costs some money but it’s actually very affordable and HeartSupport has a partnership with them that gives you a week of therapy free (I think that’s what the offer is). I would also recommend that you tell your friend about the HeartSupport livestreams on Twitch! Maybe if he checked out a livestream and got to know a little bit more about the organization, then he’d be more open to using it as a resource:) again, know that you are doing your best in trying to help your friend and im very proud of you:) i’m sure he appreciates you more than you know
just show him that you care and if he trys to harm himself talk to him.
I feel like if this guy is cutting himself its beyond heart support,
He needs to see a PhD
It’s nice to know that you’re out there trying to help him, but ultimately in the end it all starts with him, and there’s not really much anyone can do for him so don’t feel so bad because whatever happens won’t be your fault.
Say if he did go to therapy to a top PhD
The therapist would also say that it’s up to him to follow advice and make effort to change
Nobody is a miracle worker
I could maybe give some advice but you didn’t say what his/her problem is but that’s ok
Best of luck
First, it’s awesome that you reach out for a friend here. Thank you.
Also, in those resources, there’s the workbook about self-harm, called “ReWrite”. Your friend can get it on Amazon, I think as a physical copy or a digital one. The book can be used by people who struggle with self-harm, but it’s also a good tool for relatives (to gain more knowledge about this coping mechanism, deconstruct some stigmas…). Maybe this can even be a useful tool for your friend and his mom, as a way for her to understand (but as I don’t know their relationship at all, I don’t want to say anything stupid here).
About the book, there is a reading part + a journaling part. This can be explored along with the forum category here: https://forum.heartsupport.com/c/growth/rewrite - It’s divided by chapters and there are videos related to the book. The first chapters were read on stream (the videos are on the posts too, if that can be a good start for your friend).
Outside of this, I understand that this situation can be stressful and impressive to you. Maybe you feel a bit helpless, but know that having a listening friend is already very important. It’s precious.
It’s normal to feel for your friend, to hurt for him. You care about him. The fact that he trusts you is already a lot. When someone struggle with self harm, they can be ashamed and tempted to isolate, and it doesn’t help to feel like you’re alone with your pain. I’ve been on both sides. And I can assure you that having a friend to listen, without any judgment, is a lot.
But you also have to protect yourself. I highly encourage you to read ReWrite as well, at your own pace, if you’re okay with that of course. Maybe even just watch the videos on the forum. It’s also a useful resource for someone who’s in your situation and just want to help a beloved one but wonder how, practically.
If you can, keep us up to speed on what’s going on for both of you? Take care, friend.