first off i would like to say sorry for my grammar. i was not taught properly in school. lets get started
so for years dating back as far as preschool i have felt different than the rest. and i had a pretty hard childhood growing up with a pedophile meth addict father who would abuse us regularly. any way i would look at girls as though i wanted to be one but i would never say anything and i would dress up as they would i had girls give me make overs etc. i was even caught wearing a girls one piece bathing suit three times. any way skipping forward a decade i was in the hospital for cutting myself and i came out as a girl but it didnt feel comfortable. so i gave that up and i almost lost my family due to my insanity. and what started all this is i believe my real father raped me when i was a small child i have dreams and flash backs of him doing so. and it wouldnt be a suprise cause he had sex with all the little girls in our neighborhood. and please bear with me i know this is all over the place but i really need some christian help. so i have been living on my own a little over 8 months now and i have thought about it alot and i am bisexual i have had boyfriends and girlfriends and i even fell in love with a boy named matt. but my question is is what i am going through a sin i dont want to live this life if it goes against gods will. i will even go as far to never have a relationship with a man if it goes against gods will. but is it ok cause i want to have a happy life and be me.