Need opinion on woman topic

I had been involved with this woman which started out really quickly (I love you/sex). Then one day (9/13) she blew a gasket. Telling me it was over. A few weeks later she texted me asking if we ould meet. I agreed. We talked for a few hours and eventually came to the “friend zone”.

My “friend” woman went on a cruise. The day before (a Sunday) the cruise, her and a girlfriend left to go to the port in Miami and got a hotel. I had been flying sailplanes all day Sunday and was in great mood. I stopped at this tiki bar to drink a beer. I sat at the bar minding my own business watching yooutube videos of soaring and wasn’t looking around. I ordered my second beer. This fellow, who has wanted to get down my “friends” pants for a long time said to me out of the blue: “I wish you would just leave her alone”. I was stunned, I just uttered “whatever” and continued watching my video. I managed to take a picture of the guy. Later Sunday evening, I knew my “friend” was in a hotel. I texted her telling her what he said. Man, Monday morning she went off the deep end telling me I had no right to send the text and that she had told me before what she thought of the guy. I tried to explain it with a few texts but finally she texted me saying “Do you have a brain damage or been injured?”. I did not text and more. So, She went on a 5 day cruise and I did not send her any messages.

She got back Friday, I sent her a text asking her to call me “if she wanted”. I never heard. I text Saturday morning asking her to call and nicely asked how the cruise was. No reply. By this past Sunday no word from her. She was “ghosting” me, totally. I got the hint. So, Sunday afternoon, I sent of a text “Thank you for the relationship, but I think I am just not right for you. Next” - She was ignoring me so I figured I am not going to chase my tail for any woman.

This morning (Monday 10/28), I see a text from her. Cussing me up and down saying I was never her “boyfriend” (we actually were lovers at one time for 6 weeks, until she had a melt down). In her very nasty text she said I need to look in a mirror and “clean up, and you’re ugly”. She said “I can to a a lot better than you! And you lack common sense, yea your computer smart but you’re stupid.” This woman has toyed with my emotions for 2 months now. When we met, I thought she was the “one”. But when she had a melt down, saying she felt “overwhelmed” I backed off and told her we can be “friends”. When I sent the text of the guy who said thato me, was only so I could tell her what was said to me. I felt it was innocent. If someone said something about me, I would want to know immediately too.

So, she told me to FU and that “I hate you and sorry I EVER MET YOU!!” This woman has done nothing other than treat me crappy for past 2 and a half months. But I now feel crappy and very depressed over all of this crap. I hated that I only wanted to talk to her about that Sunday but she ghosted me for 3 days.

Oh boy… I feel a long reply coming up and I hope you bear with me because I don’t intent to assume anything. I’ll try to purely speak from my perspective and my opinion.

So I’ve been in the dating scene for over a year. Never really finding the one so (shrug emoji). I don’t know if you met this woman on a dating app, online or in real life. But if you met her through dating, the biggest explanation I can give, is that she is overwhelmed with other guys online. That’s at least what happens to me all the time when dating. I get 20 conversations at once and I don’t even know anymore which guy I asked for his hobbies or pets. It’s a sad truth. I’ve met lots of different types of people online and sadly, the dating world is cruel. Make one mistake or fail to interest someone for long enough and you lost the person you might’ve already grown feelings for. The first conversation in online dating is so important, to determine how compatible you are. And missing out a concersation is really hard to pick up from again. For me at least, when a conversation dies, it dies. Unless some guy really has lust for you and wants to fuck really badly. So keeping multiple concersations going, is key kinda. If I meet 3 people that interest me a lot, I’d keep the 3 conversations going at once. I know it sounds weird, but the reason is. If I jump the gun for one guy, tell the other 2 “Oops, sorry. James (fictional name) has my interest. But good luck on dating.” And after 20 minutes or maybe 2 dates, it turns out that James is really not the person you were looking for, it’s really hard to go back to those other 2 like “Hey, remember when I didn’t want you? I want to get to know you better now, mr. second choice guy.”

So you begin by saying that you were dating her for a little while, then she didn’t want to see you anymore. And then she wants to meet up to friendzone you. If a girl friendzones and you only know each other for a few months, it just means they don’t wanna see you anymore. I think she maybe found someone more interesting and decided to jump that gun. Sadly leaving you behind. Why do girls friendzone? Because it’s easier to say than “I lost my interest in you”. --Some people actually manage to stay friends and be fine, but as far as I know, that only happens with people who have been in longer relationships and both agreed on splitting. Because they built this bond of inside jokes, being comfortable around each other and having been through a lot together – For the rest of what happened between you and the girl. It seems to me that she didn’t want to hear from you anymore. And the ignoring, blaming, cussing… are her coping mechanisms to not having her boundaries respected. (Is what I believe) She tried to set a boundary with you by friendzoning you, but obviously that’s a confusing sign. So why did she suddenly cuss at you? Because it’s been boiling up inside her. She was upset about the boundaries being broken, held back for some time and maybe in a blur decided to cuss at you.

I’m really sorry to tell. But from what I read, you gotta let it go and give her some space :frowning_face: Move on, find someone who will make the world make sense instead of confuse you.