Its been a hard few months for me. I haven’t felt like I’ve hotten any better. My life currently feels at its worse. I’ve felt so alone, helpless, for the longest time. I’m tired of the way I’ve felt. I don’t want to be depressed and anxious anymore. I feel like any one of these days, I could snap again and do something really stupid. I really want to start my life over again, but I’m carrying around so much weight from my past that it’s impossible for me to move on. I feel like it’s time that I actually tried to improve myself instead of saying I will and then do nothing. All I want is to feel happy again, to be content with my life, to stop shutting people out and try to make friends at uni. I know that I have the capability to be better, but my mind keeps telling me lie after lie. I keep telling myself to not trust anyone because of the fear of rejection and being hurt like I was hurt by the one person that I loved the most. I just want to be free of myself. I’m tired of crying and the anxiety attacks and not being responsible.
Hey @Voxmyth, you’ve already taken a great first step to improving yourself by admitting what’s holding you back, and what you want to achieve. A transformation like that doesn’t happen overnight, and I know it can be hard to let new people in, I have the same problem of making friends because I’m scared of opening up to someone and leaving myself vulnerable, since I’ve guarded my emotions for as long as I know. I don’t know what happened in your past, but once you’ve hit rock bottom there’s nowhere you can go but up, it’s just a matter or finding the motivation, and will to start climbing. Let go of your bitter past and forge a brighter future, you’re only in university, God has a whole plan for your life that you may not know!
I’m not the best person at giving advice on learning to start making friends and trusting people since even I have trouble with that, and because that’s just how I’ve always been, but what you can do is maybe talk to a pastor at your local church? Connect with other people who feel the same way as you do. Those lies your mind is telling you aren’t from God, that’s the devil trying to wreak more havoc in your life, as that’s his only purpose, to spread confusion and chaos, to divide you from other people so you will never get help, and posting this here on heartsupport is a great way of fighting back.
God has a plan for you and is your best friend, just turn to Him, ask Him for help, ask Him to calm your mind, and spirit, and read what the Bible may have to say on the subjects you are dealing with. Also remember I’m always ready to talk to you whenever you need.
Your problem is you are giving to much attention to your problems. Use distraction to focus your attention on. A lot of people don’t understand how great a tool distraction can be.
Sometimes it takes will power because it is so easy to pay attention to how others seem to treat you, the voice(s) in your head, the loneliness or depression.
Yet a lot of the time. We delude ourselves with speculation or assumptions that we consider true, but aren’t true. We care too much about our situation/circumstance & what others see us/thin of us. We care too little what we think of ourselves.
Anxiety comes from stress & what feeds this stress is worry. Relaxing is key. Hard to relax if your attention is on what is stressing you out. It is like having a fear of heights sitting/standing on the ledge and looking over the ledge. Looking over the edge will just make it all worse. (Doesn’t really matter if you should face your fear or not.) If you look at the pretty sunset or sunrise that is in the sky before you than being up on that ledge wouldn’t be to bad.
Same way with being lonely or helpless. There are ways to battle feeling lonely. Listen to music, watching movies/shows or playing games. Reading a book or joining a local club. Talking to someone or anyone for like 5 minutes or so. To battle helplessness: Date yourself. Read or learn about Being confident, influencing people or being successful or Having a conversation. Realize your feelings are just your reactions. So if you don’t obsess obout how you feel then you might actually relax. Tell that/them voice(s) saying you’re a loser or worthless to STFU.