I really hate how negative people can be to me sometimes. Because little do they know that it actually does affect me, it triggers me. I’m always getting shut down by people and it builds up all these emotions that I haven’t let out because I’m trying to keep myself together and be strong for people. But it urges me to cut myself and it breaks me. I can’t even get asked about my day without me getting shut down, or how I’m feeling without getting shut down. Just because im Christian doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions and doesn’t mean I’m not gonna go through things and struggle. I’m always having these random mental breakdowns because of how much I’m tired of trying in trying to overcome this, I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired and I just wanna die. If I accidentally cut a vein and went too deep, I would NOT care.NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME OR CARES. I’m over it… I hate being curled up in a ball on my bed because I’m so miserable and don’t have any strength to get through the day, i hate not having an appetite, I hate the voices in my head telling me I’m worthless and I should just die. I hate feeling like a burden and waste of space to everyone. I hate that I’m like this and I can’t get out because it’s all in my head. (I’m sorry, it probably seems like I’m always complaining, but I’m not. And I’m sorry for always posting. I know you guys might get tired of it. I apologize.)
Hey there, don’t feel bad for posting. A lot of us are far happier to hear about what troubles in you in life and try and help you than to have you suffer alone. We all aim to build each other up and learn from each other’s mistakes (in this Community).
People can be very negative and if you really think about it, it is easy to start seeing why. Everyone, no matter how rich, how talented, good looking, smart etc has problems. Everyone faces challenges. The daily toils of life make it easy to forget about the blessings we have and become bitter. It is far easier to complain about things than to try and fix them so no wonder people can be so apathetic, cynical and nihilistic.
I know you are tired, but don’t give up. There is still a lot of good in the world, and a lot of people who will fight for the helpless and for justice. Depression doesn’t make a lot of things easier, but one thing it can do is teach us to understand better the pain and suffering that others do and motivate us to fight for the good in the world.
Fight back against the voices. Try and channel the negativity you have into something, anything, productive. It won’t be easy, but it is a hell of a lot better than drowning in your own head. Any small step forward you take is progress regardless of how any one else acts. Add up all the small steps and things will really start to change.
No one may understand you fully, but you aren’t the only one going through these things. Take heart in the fact that you aren’t alone and never give up.
I can understand my family is like that tbh it’s hard I had to practice boundaries with them. Sometimes group therapy helps if it’s people that are close to you and if it matters to try and repair a relationship with them. If not then cutting toxic people out of your life is for the best because when it gets to the point effecting your mental health and well being then it’s best to walk away and focus on yourself. Therapy helped me alot to personally deal with setting boundaries and actually expressing myself to someone that cared bevause my therapist rocks! I’m personally glad that you are here in this group and you do matter to someone! Keep the faith, find something thatll help you feel better whether it’s music, art, gaming whatever captures your interest. Turn that pain into something positive and productive. I believe in you!
I genuinely just wanna die. I feel so exhausted from fighting, and I feel like it’s waste of my time if I’m a mess. I have to pull myself together and put my big girl pants on. But I’m an emotional wreck, I can’t control anything. It sucks. Some days are just way harder than others that I can not control this.