I’ve been so overwhelmed. This year has been the worse possible year ever one thing from another. I was homeless at the beginning of the year, got into a car accident, the next month lost my baby, over worked and under paid as a healthcare worker,attempted suicide in July, my body ended up shutting down on me cause me to be in the hospital for 14days. Came home and couldn’t even care for myself, been out of work since July, body started getting better now it’s getting worse. My daughter has ADHD I’m a single parent with little help and I broke on Sunday. Lashed on on the people I love and in returned my character got defamed and trusted information got out and now I feel low and numb. So low I question why am I here? So numb i can’t even describe. I hurt the one person I know had my back and now I don’t even know what to do or how to fix it or even if I can fix it. I’m in a dark place…
I’m sorry for your troubles, and that you lost your baby. It extremely to get back on your foot from being homeless. This year with health care worker had really suck, my sister works in the field and I don’t know how she does it.
We tent to lash out on the people we love, a lot emotions can get the best of us and they can get very intense.
I’m glad you have reach out and I hope that you can get well. Stay strong!!
Thanks and I moved into my apartment in February. I was hard with this pandemic going on. Thank you for responding I appreciate it
Hey @WOG2020
Thank you so much for being here in this community and sharing what you’ve been through this year, but also more recently.
It would be an understatement to say that you’ve been through a lot. We’re collectively facing an epidemic, and you had to deal also with all of those things in your life… I’m really sorry this year has been rough to you. It makes absolutely sense to have a nervous breakdown when it feels like life is literally crushing you. It’s also already very strong of you to connect those events together. So even if it can be very frustrating to feel like you lost/are losing control of yourself, I want to encourage you to be more kind to yourself now than ever. You deserve to slow down and be gentle with yourself, as much as possible. This numbness that you feel might be for good reasons, even if it’s disturbing. Sometimes we just feel so overwhelmed, we have so many informations to process and digest emotionally that our mind shuts down. And that’s okay. There’s only so many things we can do, so many battles we can fight at once.
Did you have the possibility to talk to someone, or a professional, about what you’ve been through? How you feel right now might be a red flag to acknowledge in order to consider talking as a way to remove this weight off your shoulders. I can imagine how many thoughts, emotions, worries that might have just been bottling up in your mind and your heart, yet you didn’t really have the possibility to rest until now as things kept stacking up. So if you can consider it, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional - even just for a few meetings, that can help tremendously. And in any case, know that this forum is a good and safe place to share about those things, if you’d like to.
I hope the person you lashed on will be able to understand what you are going through and see that there is a context behind your behavior. I hope you’ll manage to discuss about those things together in a more calm and collected way, so you can understand each other and let love grow stronger. In any case, please take care of yourself and make your wellness a priority. It sounds that it is really needed now. And it’s the best way to be present for your daughter and all the people you care about. 
I’m sending hugs to you. 
Thank you. Well the positive part is a lot of the people I lashed out at are very forgiving, understanding and compassionate. So we’re good. It’s just the guilt, shame and frustration. One of the persons I lashed out at was my Pastor which happens to be a mother figure to me and she she has my back right, wrong, Good, bad or indifferent. I can count on her to be there, she’s been there through all of this and regardless of me lashing out she’s still there to help me get through this.
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