So I’m Vincent, I’m 16 Years old and I’m from Germany.
So I won’t explain my whole story here, but I’m going to ask for help to handle a Situation which might seem like a big luxury-problem, and might as well make some people very mad at me.
So I’m having Depression for about 2 years now, and I’ve been going to a therapist for about 1.5 years now, tho It hasn’t really helped me that much, and It’s only getting worse and worse.
At the moment I’m at my lowest, I’m feeling so bad and I’m having burn-out-like symptoms.
All of this was caused by a lot of fears, constrains (I don’t know if that’s the right word for it), changes and my “new” hobby. So my new Hobby is flying, In the past, I’ve been very interested in Aviation but when my Depression got worse I’ve started losing fun in EVERYTHING I had fun in before. My (very few friends whom I fucked up the relationships with), Playing video games and going flying.
I have to say that I’m very thankful to even have this opportunity since it costs a lot of money and many people can’t afford it. I also have to say that my Depression way caused by changes and by my Self and that my Family is kind of fine. NOW to the important part: So currently I’ve flown about 10 of the 30 hours required to get the license, and Im just sooooo extremely stressed out by the Studying and It doesn’t even interests me at all anymore. Infact It’s causing soo much stress, chaos and so on which wouldn’t be that bad if I didn’t have Depression and these fears. Its taking soo much Time, money and It’s pressuring me sooo hard. I have little to no time left for my friends at the weekend, and at the Flyingclub people are like age 40 ore more ( I’m by far the youngest one). Soo all in all I’m now considering asking my therapist for antidepressants because I can’t do it. This Flying thing isn’t my only problem and It’s just getting tooo much and I’ve even had thoughts hurting myself.
My parents would be sooo disappointed and mad at me that it would hurt badly, tho I can’t do that as a 16 Yo with mental health problems (which they don’t seem to care about even tho I’ve tried talking to them so many times).
I just want to be a normal 16YO.
THANKS FOR READING!!!
I appreciate any useful advice!
Luxury problems are still problems, and anxiety is still anxiety. There is no need to apologize for your anxiety just because it’s about something different than others.
Over time, we may lose interests in certain hobbies, and that’s okay. Depression can also drain our interest in our favorite activities. It’s called anhedonia, and it’s something everyone with depression deals with. It’s not your fault and not a shortcoming, it’s a symptom of the disease of depression. Other times, hobbies can add too much stress to your life. Going to school and working on your pilot’s license is a lot, especially if you don’t have a real peer connection there. So it’s okay to let the extra things go for awhile and pick back up on them when you’re in a better place. Aviation school will always be there when you’re ready to go back.
Hi Vincent! First of all, I think it is great that you are seeing a therapist to help with the depression. It may be that another therapist is a better fit if you feel that you aren’t able to make progress with your current therapist.
Losing interest and enjoyment for things is a symptom of depression and it sucks. I have been there too where I didn’t enjoy soccer anymore and instead it was a huge commitment with a lot of added stress and no reward to it. I appreciate that you are grateful for your opportunity to fly but your health and mental health are the MOST important thing. You have to take care of yourself, whatever that means. I’m so sorry to hear that your parents are not responding to your mental health needs and concerns. You have to look out for yourself and if flying is making things worse right now, then take time to rest and heal. Taking time to work on your mental health is important. You will get through this low time, stay strong
How did you deal with this kind of Situation?? Did you quit Soccer, or did your enjoyment come back?
I mean for my Situation it is that if I try to tell my parents that I wanna quit, they’re going to hate me for that, and a lot of other people who knew about my passion will be disappointed because they simply don’t know that I have depression.
And You’re right that my health should be the most important thing to me, but if I quit it means that I can’t just start again in the Future, all progress would be gone, but I mean is it really worth putting in soooo much effort and so on for something that in the moment doesn’t “pay off”?
If you were me how would you try to tell my parents that I want to Quit, even though I’m already quite far?
And did you try Anti-depressants?
I dropped out of college twice because of depression. Both times I thought I was letting down everyone in my life, and I was so ashamed. Turns out everyone was happy to see me taking control of my life instead of stalling out. Sometimes it still hurts that I wasn’t able to finish, but I’m proud of the career I’ve built, doing engineering work without a degree.
If flying is your passion but it’s too much to handle right now, you’ll make it happen when you’re ready, on your terms. You’ll have to start over, but when the time is right you’ll finish, you’ll love the journey, and you’ll appreciate the second time around and how good it feels! And if you’re never interested in starting the process again, that’s okay too. You had a unique opportunity that you got to enjoy in this season of your life, and you’ll find another passion around the corner. Don’t make the mistake I did of thinking that your pilot license (or my college degree) defines you.
I wanna encourage you to do what you think would be the best and most healthy choice. I agree with @SheetMetalHead, I think what they said is some great advice. Putting yourself first and making sure you’re okay is always most important:)
For me, I quit playing soccer competitively and many years later joined a pickup group that was challenging enough to be exciting. But I didn’t play soccer at all for about 6 years. Growing up, it was my whole life and I was planning to play in university. I can enjoy it now but when I’m in a low period then I’m not committed to playing so I can rest instead. Have you been able to speak to your family about how flying is making you feel more stressed, pressured, lonely, and causing you to have the urge to hurt yourself? It sounds like one of your concerns about stopping right now is that you’re worried about how others will react but I’m sure that your family wants what is best for you now and in the long-term.
You said that you’ve tried talking to your parents and they don’t seem to care… My advice for speaking to your parents is to educate them on depression. I don’t know if they’re involved much with your therapy or if they are already educated on depression, but I know that after struggling with different levels of depression for over 10 years I started sending my mom articles and information about it and it really changed how she responded. Growing up she would just say I was weird or moody. She would get angry with me when I was in a low, hurting myself, or not being productive. But after she started to read about it as a disease and all the symptoms and struggles that are part of it, she became more understanding instead of just thinking I was weird. I really wish that I had realized when I was younger that she was unaware of how depression affects people and how real it is. I’m 27 now and I’ve only really been able to talk to her about it in a helpful way for the last year. Is it possible to have a conversation like that with your parents or send them resources to read about it as a health concern? Are they willing to learn about depression in general as an illness?
About anti-depressants, I did try them once but the one I tried was not a good fit for me and I didn’t try any others. I know 4 friends who take them and have seen very positive results. I know from my friends that they can be very helpful if you find the right fit with your doctor.
I can sense that you feel very stuck right now. Feeling stuck adds even more stress to a stressful time. I hope that writing it out is a little bit helpful to get your thoughts and concerns out. You will get through this and with time will learn what things help you fight the symptoms of depression.