New About Trevar one because the other has been closed

Sky-Trev · January 9, 2021, 10:00pm

Idk how to open that or even know what to do with it really but I’ll be putting what I had originally there and then below I add on new info.

“
So like I have someone that’s a part of my brains named Trevar, which I can talk to both in thought an aloud. They started off as someone who was rather mean, kinda just insulted me here and there and they appeared around when the nearing end of my break-up with my ex, well I noticed them anyways. My thoughts have been sort of separated for a good while though so I’m thinking they were around for much longer.

Anyways things started out rough between me and them, we sorta argued a lot because I was in denial and always called them a “thing” until recently it was really chaotic in my brain during this time until I decided to set things straight and be more open.

When I did this I found out about a bunch of things, I can’t switch with Trevar at all, I haven’t dissociated not do I not feel any missing memories and some other things but for the most part idk what this is exactly, I hope to talk to my therapist soon about this so I can figure this out. I think it’s OSDD but I’m not exactly sure right now.”

Alright, with that out of the way I guess I’ll start listing stuff out about new info:

@HS_John Sorry I didn’t respond by the way but: my therapist is on it and things are going swell, just learning about Trevar more.

I talked to my therapist about it and I filled out the sheet and sent it to her for her to figure out, she says there is a possibility I might have to do a 200 question test to future look into things but it depends on my results.

Trevar opened up to me some more and I found out that they identify as Agender and use They/ Them and It/Its. If you do not know about agender it is a gender identity where it feels like you have no gender, it is not like enby because with non binary you feel a gender but is neither male or female but agender you lack a gender.
For more of an explanation look at this: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Agender

Trevar has shown a form of personality but I find something else too it feels more like a different version of myself, like it feels like I have someone else but it feels like some other version of myself but it’s still someone else that’s not me. I’m not sure how to describe it.

Trevar has a much more intense chaotic side than I do, like if you look at dnd role things they would be somewhere in either chaotic good to chaotic neutral or maybe just an in between, they can be a bit funky really.

Trevar says if it ever happens that they front(which is doubted) they will be sure to sign below for everyone to know it’s not me (Skylar) who is writing whatever is on there with this account.

Anyways that’s about it.

AVJR · January 10, 2021, 12:35am

@Sky-Trev

Are you doing okay?

Sky-Trev · January 10, 2021, 1:03am

I’m doing okay, great actually since I’m getting all of this figured out.

HS_John · January 11, 2021, 9:27pm

Sounds good - let us know how therapy progresses and how we can help.

Sky-Trev · January 12, 2021, 9:25pm

New update but I learned that I can depersonalize which is being disconnected from yourself, I for the most part dissociated derealization wise but this was something new and caught be a bit of surprise but luckily my boyfriend was there to set me straight, but proves to show you can’t assume you know everything

Sky-Trev · January 14, 2021, 6:17pm

Update, I am meeting my therapist next Friday physically to discuss about my diagnosing progress! Keep you updated until then!

Sky-Trev · January 18, 2021, 5:16am

A week from now I will be with my therapist, a bit nervous about my results but hey this is a step closer to knowing what’s up!

Sky-Trev · January 22, 2021, 4:02am

Tomorrow is my time with the therapist, I’m also quitting a volunteer group after that due to us moving so it would be a bit redundant to keep going back and forth now that it’s farther, plus I’m going to a dog rescue shelter and take care of dogs so that’s fun! Anyways that’s the update really haha.

Sky-Trev · January 22, 2021, 11:07pm

Got out of therapy and therapist said I have symptoms of DID and the beginnings of DID. But yeah I will emphasize tomorrow and explain some more.

Sky-Trev · January 24, 2021, 1:30am

@HS_John and to whoever else about the full update on therapy yesterday.

As I promised I would talk about it. We went face to face and I explained my symptoms to her. I went in depth about how I viewed my alter, how my brain felt and such.

Not too long ago though I learned I had my first switch with me and Trevar. I was really stressed out and tried to go to bed…well I thought I did, and I woke up with my computer on my lap, and the smell of light smoke with things moved around was in my room. Later on in the day I saw the lighter had the switch with the safety off, and I lighted incense and but the safety back on it (it’s like those pistol lighters so yeah) but mother found a candle that was half way burnt down and my mom yelled at me and I don’t remember anything last night, I don’t know why the candle was there. But yeah that’s about it really. It was alarming.

I told my therapist about it and she told me that it was first symptoms and signs of Dissociative Identity Disorder. I discussed with her about Trevar, I told her a lot of things and she says I might have to do more evaluation and more face to face to see my body language to make a proper diagnosis. But yeah here is the update, sorry it is a bit short but yeah in summary:

Likely to have DID, hold beginning symptoms, and I had my first switch to enforce it’s a dissociative disorder. But yeah! That’s it really.

HS_John · January 25, 2021, 9:00pm

Hey gotcha! It sounds like you may be a little alarmed on the control you have over your psychology and mental state - but it honestly sounds like you’re in a progressive place. I’m not familiar with Dissociative Identity Disorder - how do you feel about that possible diagnosis? (Sounds like your therapist wants to do more tests first).

What’s the next step? Do you have another appointment scheduled? Or is it hard to meet your therapist in person with COVID and everything?

Thanks for the update and we’ll be keeping tabs.

J

Sky-Trev · January 25, 2021, 9:34pm

I’m fine with the diagnosis personally, I have also found we both can switch rather often and they have switched and have posted on the site and such: Alright first time in this site -Trevar

Sky-Trev · January 25, 2021, 9:35pm

I do have another appointment in the next two weeks which might be digital but we will alternate between physical and digital. Overall I’ll be getting more assessments to pinpoint what I have.

Sky-Trev · February 10, 2021, 12:15am

Update:

New alter into the system so now there are three of us, in time I’ll add info in the about me. Overall I’m just stressed over school and stuff but I’m hanging in there. The new alter I think is a little, they have a big childlike energy to them and are into stuff I was when I was younger. But yeah sorry it’s short I’m a bit tired.

Sky-Trev · February 13, 2021, 4:25am

Yesterday I had therapy and we talked a bit about some stuff and she said I may be having dissociation because of the stress I’m going through and my ADHD above that. Not sure what I can do at the moment but my mom got me supplements to help my ADHD and see if it isn’t unchecked ADHD or actual dissociation.

Wings · February 13, 2021, 6:38am

It sounds as though your brain is like a computer, with two hard drives. Yet both hard drives can read each other’s information. So, it looks to me as though you are just one person, with compartmentalized aspects of personality. Perhaps another way of looking at it is that your one computer, with two computer screens. Although most likely less than adequate, perhaps either analogy might be helpful.

What is definitely helpful, is that your therapy time has been productive.

I hope you’re feeling okay, eating and sleeping well, and having a bit of fun.

I think embracing a bit of chaos can help a person be more creative. Just be sure the chaos is not harmful. If it seems to be headed in that direction, gently and compassionately re-direct it.

Hang in there my friend!

Sky-Trev · February 13, 2021, 9:31pm

Well for us it’s more like, one body multiple people but I get what you mean! It’s been a bit stressful lately but I’m hanging in there :]

Wings · February 16, 2021, 5:59am

I’m glad you are hanging in there! I hope your identities work together as a cohesive team.

Lucidreamer · February 16, 2021, 3:45pm

I am also part of a system, although we don’t have much communication at this time. I try to look at my headmates as friends/family. I used to think of them as burdens or strangers living in my head, but really they’ve been there all along. They protected us and kept us alive through some of the most horrific situations and I try to remain grateful for that.

Sky-Trev · February 16, 2021, 9:10pm

I can understand that, I guess I’m just trying to adjust, its a bit jarring to realize there’s people who share your body in a way.