So hello everyone, i am new here and i guess this is the right place for me to say a few things.
So i feel no need to hide, my name is Alex, and i’m from Europe, in some country.
I have been fighting with loneliness for 2 years now, been through 2 therapists and medication doesn’t help me in any way. I will not go into what my life has been till now, just that i wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I don’t know where to start, so i will say it right now, i have decided that i will leave this plane of existence, to put it that way. I am alone, no friends, my brother doesn’t care pretty much, strng social anxiety and suicidal thoughts got the best of me.
I am going to turn 32 years old on the 16th of December, and i never had a relationship this entire time. I never wanted to have a succesful job, or to make big money, cars and all that, my dream was always to have my own family, to have someone i love and share that love . To have children, i love kids, but i will never have that, nor the love of anyone. I am alone, and i will be like this forever.
The pain that i feel in me is going on now for a year, every day is harder and harder to get through. I have made my plans, i am ready to leave and that gives me, strangely enough, some comfort. No friends, no family that cares, this is me, all alone, and this is my choice.
The worst thing is , is that , for the first time, i am afraid of Christmas, i am so alone, and i think i will break so hard…but no matter, as i have made my plans and i am at peace with it all.
I hope you guys and girls are doing better than me, and can look forward to things getting better for you.
I’m sorry if i troubled you with this, this is me.