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New here. Work beating me down

New to heart support. Just need to vent about work. I don’t want to say much because I’m still kind of white knuckling it. My job is so stressful. I work for a company as the Amazon sales manager. I’m new to the position but can’t seem to get a grasp on it after 3 months. So much work to do. I know it takes time, but I feel like expectations are really high. Anyone else feel this way?

My partner is very understanding, but the other week she didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t able to communicate it clearly. She freaked out at my behavior, which was due to my insane stress, exhaustion and not having the emotional capacity to deal with an argument. I felt lost, worthless and tried killing myself by OD-ing on Xanax and alcohol. Thankfully I passed out for 24 hrs before I could take any more. Amazed I didn’t have to go to the hospital. I am safe and good now, and she holds onto my medication in case I think about abusing it.

Now I’m just being beaten down by work. I feel unappreciated. I feel like I have to prove myself every day. I feel like maybe I can’t. I’m trying so hard but deadlines can’t be met. My compny’s Amazon department is being built from scratch, which I was brought in to help with, but I’m overwhelmed and still pressing forward.

I listen to ABR every day because their music helped me through tough times a few years ago. The connection I have to the band’s philosophy and message helps me get through. I’m just worn out. Just needed to say it somewhere I feel connected to, like this group that Jake Luhrs is involved with.

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Much Love To You My Friend!

Hi there and thank you for sharing. I hope that venting on here helped. Work can be such a demanding part of our lives, and it’s extra hard because it takes up so much of our time. It’s normal to feel totally out of your element at a new job, especially one that doesn’t seem to have expectations and foundations figured out yet. We believe in you!