I just opened up to my family and church about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I have been going to counseling for about a month now and have been seeing some progress. I have had a lot of support and love over the last 24 hours but I still find myself falling back into the deep pit. I try to read my Bible, reach out to close ones, do techniques my counselor showed me but I still fall back into it. I feel like this will never end and I will never be back to being happy. I just don’t know what to do to get better. Really stuck.
Thank you so much for coming forward for this post - and to your friends and family. All of us here, and all of them there, would much rather have you here and talking then not here and dead. It takes so much courage to come forward with your stuff. It takes so much courage to break free of that darkness that’s holding you back even to take that first step into the light.
Depression is a funny, crappy thing. We spend so much time developing it and it shaping our internals (brains) that it takes a long time to break free of that thing. Kudos to you for starting the journey of recovery - but there’s a long road ahead. That loss of hope that you seem to be feeling is your depression telling you to take a passenger seat and let it drive but don’t let it.
That’s easier said then done though. Sometimes, along with talk therapy, which is sounds like you are getting, one must combine either a drastic life style change or psychotropic medications to help them to break free of the darkness.
I strongly encourage you to reach out to your primary care provider (doctor) and ask about additional changes you can make to help address the issue as highlighted above.
Regardless, I’m here to help and listen. Drop me a response or give me a call on my stream line. We discussed you tonight on stream (and others), feel free to give a listen. <3
Keep on pushing,
I’m so glad you opened up and have a counselor. You’realready doing the right thing. But it can be disappointing to wait for results and not seeing it for the moment. Things will get better, but this is a new start for you and you’re learning to build new strategies for yourself. It will take some time to beat depression. You’ll be happy again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
I understand that you can get tired and want to see results faster. But even after a month, you already have a strong awareness of what may be working for you or not, and these are things you shouldn’t hesitate to share in counseling sessions. You are also learning to build a new rhythm, to try new things … it can take time to do all of this. You’re surrounding yourself with the support you need. Be patient with yourself, you’ll get there.