New year, "New" me

New year, new me. Or so they say. I’m not one for new year’s resolutions, and never really have been. I’ve always been generally healthy, generally on top of things, and generally in control. If you read my previous post, you’d know that I’m on antidepressants. In a span of two months, I will have gone from taking no medication to 5. (Granted some will stop after a few months.) But that’s still a big change for me. It’s not bad, of course, but I’ve been so focused on my health the past few months that, while getting out of routine during a more depressive episode, my life hasn’t exactly gone back to being on top of things or in control. Today was the first day of the new semester. I stayed focused in my classes, met up with people, talked to new people, and was proud of that. But I didn’t do anything homework related or finish unpacking my things. I know I should be proud of what I have accomplished, but I’m afraid I’m not going to have a routine again and things will fall apart. I don’t want to fail or drop any classes, and I don’t want to feel physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted every day when I wake up. I’m feeling more in control than I was, which should help me create and maintain a routine, but I also have other factors in my life that make me feel not in control. (Panic attacks and the like, mostly from abuse/assault and processing everything that goes with that. I’m having a really really hard time processing those things.) I know it’s not the end of the world but I feel like I just need a push to get me going again, so that’s why I’m here. :heart: hold fast :heart:

current soundtrack - california by blink-182, tracing back roots by we came as romans

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hello friend. thanks for sharing.

you should definitely feel good about what you achieved and even if it’s hard, you should stop overthinking about what ifs. take one step at a time, do things at your own pace and everything will be fine. obviously there are responsibilities and priorities, but don’t let them make you feel panicked or anxious about your future.

love you

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Hi Sophicspider!

Okay first of all California by Blink-182 is an underrated album and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

Second of all I’m really proud of you for facing this year with hope and optimism, even if you are having doubts. It is so important for you to focus on your health and your wellbeing and I believe that doing just that will help you so so much. But I understand having fears about school and trying to keep your head above water. I had previously dropped out of school because of my depression and when I decided to finally go back I was so scared. I wondered if I could actually do it. I thought, “when am I going to fall apart again?”. But through everything I am actually in school and doing okay. The one piece of advice I have for you is to utalize your school’s tutors or people that can help you in your classes. Tutors helped me keep all of my stuff organized and helped me not get too overwhelmed with work. Also make a monthly schedule for yourself so that you can see what needs to be done for each week. Keeping organized and getting that extra help really goes a long way. You have come so far and I know you have so much more to go! We are here for you. We believe in you.


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