I just had a nightmare that just felt so real… I was harming myself again, but this time… Somehow… people found out while I was doing it. I just woke up, but to my bones I can feel that I need to hurt myself again. With everything that has been going on, I haven’t been my best… And when I feel this way I just want to isolate even more… Till I feel better… Which will probably never happen…
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Just remember friend, it’s a dream. Not real. You’re safe and you’re okay. I know lately you’ve been having a hard time. Sending you lots of love right now. Warmth and hugs. Always a DM away. But I understand if talking about it is hard right now. In that case just know you are loved.
Find some calm music. Or check out rainy mood. It often helps me when I have nightmares
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Hey, let it be seen as dream. Be thankful isn’t worse.
Hey, no offence but it literally took all of my self control not to harm myself today because of that “just a dream”. Now is that only because of the stream? No. But the dream didn’t make it easier… It reminded me of all the reasons I wanted to… It reminded me of all the things I haven’t punished myself for yet… And because the last time I harmed myself wasn’t that long ago… It’s not gonna be that bad to do it again, right? That’s how real it was…
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Hey @nyntje,
You are loved.
Nightmares can be tough. I usually forget what I dream about. But I’m also used to have nightmares about things I experienced in the past. It’s hard to have those nightmares. First because sleeping is such a precious need… But also because you can literally feel what you experienced during your nightmares.
Reminding you that it’s a dream is not a way to diminish or ignore the impact it has on you. It’s only a way to say that there are still things you can control in this situation. But I know the emotions induced by our dreams can leave a deep mark on us. For me, sometimes, it lasts for days. And it’s just… so painful.
In regards of the fact, our dreams are a world of possibilities but not things we are truly experiencing at the present moment. It’s good to keep that in mind. But in regards of the emotions it produces, you are right, it can be highly triggering. So if you think that your dreams can be like triggers for you, try to see them like that: a trigger, but not something harmful in itself. When I see a movie scene or hear a specific word that brings to me some painful memories, images, emotions, I try to remind myself that I still have possibility to react or not. That I am still in control.
Thoughts, feelings, emotions change all the time. You still have the possibility to stay in control, even if it’s really overwhelming. You still have the possibility to resist against the urge to harm yourself, to resist against the things you can tell yourself. The real problem is not the dream, but the idea that you need to punish yourself for some reasons. And gosh, I love you so much friend. I can assure you, and will keep telling you that you don’t deserve an ounce of harm. There is nothing to be punished for. And I know a relapse can bring this huge feeling of vulnerability. But it will pass. You will regain your strengths. Day by day. So keep resisting. Keep fighting. I’m so proud of you. And you know you are among friends here. We’ll keep supporting you through this process.
I hope last night was better for you. Hope you had the possibility to rest, as much as possible.
Also, in case you struggle with insomnia sometimes, maybe you could give a try to some relaxing games before you go to sleep? I find walking simulators to be particularly useful for that. It helped me a lot when I needed to reconnect to something more positive/relaxing at night.
Sending hugs.
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I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said that like that…
Hey, it´s fine. Let me just reinstate the statement. I can understand where your coming on different levels. I´ve got a friend who has done it. Yet, it´s best when the scenario is better spoken out than stuck under tongue. However, I do want to share an advise. If you like listening to music, I suggest starting with calm ones. If you like drawing, draw what if feels to be seen harmed. Or, plain ol’ fresh air would do you good. I´ve been through those strangulating events. I somehow manage to never have cut until some time ago…
Gives pat on the back Non taken