Its almost 2 pm and I haven’t showered in four days I have no motivation to do the dishes or go talk to my shitty clinic therapist who just dosent offer actual help or support I just wanna lay on this couch and count the dots on the popcorn ceiling I’m struggling so much today and I just…the only word I can use to describe how I’m feeling is BLUGH but even then that dosent do justice to how I’m feeling
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Hi @Derpplup
I have major depression and I’m on meds for it. I can relate to your post 100% and I’ll tell you something my mother had me start doing years ago that has helped a lot with motivation and getting out of bed.
I am disabled, so I’m home 24/7 and would go a long time without self care and my house was filthy and had roaches running everywhere. My son wouldn’t even come over to visit, it was so bad.
So, my mother got involved and helped me create a routine. Having a bed time, waking up around the same time, cleaning litter boxes, making food to eat, self care and doing one house cleaning chore a day no matter how small.
Some days, I don’t do everything on the list and some days I do more. It’s helped so much tho and I’m glad my mother suggested it.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling so badly. Beyond being more persistent with your therapist to get the help you need, don’t feel guilty. Sometimes it’s a good idea to absolutely commit to counting popcorn bits on the ceiling, without regrets or guilt, then it may become easier to move on to something else, for example, becoming more comfortable by being clean and in fresh clothes.
It may be super hard to take the first step, like washing the first dish, but those that follow become easier.
BTW, there are other therapists.
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hi @Derpplup ,
thanks for posting on HS for support, i’m glad you’re here, my friend.
taking things one step at a time will help make recovery and feeling back to normal an easier task to do than taking everything on at once. you’re not alone in feeling this way so i can say with 100% uncertainty (because i’ve been there too) that just taking a shower makes such a difference with that “BLUGH” feeling. trust me on this, my friend.
after that shower, you can go back to couch and count the ceiling dots once again but at least you made that progress in caring for yourself. and maybe next you’ll feel energized to eat some nutritious food? it’s all a chain reaction but bathing truly does set off the domino effect.
i believe in you to conquer this unmotivated feeling you are facing. i look forward to hearing your progress soon!
love,
twix
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Hi Derpplup
I am sorry you are feeling so yuck at the moment, its not a nice way to feel.
I was wondering if maybe if your therapist isn’t helping you, could you ask to see a different one, if you feel you are not getting the support you need you are not going to feel motivated to do things for yourself.
I also think a lovely shower would really help, its amazing how different it can make you feel and its just one thing that can get you started on to the other more important things,
Its important that you take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. you deserve that.
Much Love
Lisa 
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