No motivation to get off the bed

All my life I had problems finding a motivation to live, to get out of bed, since I was a child I was always someone shy and unmotivated… A few years ago I began to use others to give me reasons, thinking “I get up to spend time with X, to make him happy” I know that relationships are not forever and I, being someone uninteresting, cannot expect others to want spend time with me.
For a few months I have liked a boy who is a couple of years younger than me, we are good friends and he knows that I like him, some days he seems to be interested in spending time with me but other days it seems that I annoy him, I know i can be tiring and boring, but I do my best to have a good relationship with him. I would like to go to a psychologist to talk about this, but I can’t afford it.

If someone took the trouble to read all this, thank you very much for reading and for helping on this page, you are a wonderful person!


Hello Aizixt,
thank you for sharing your toughts and struggles here. You are also a wonderful person and
showing a lot of strength by posting.

That is true, but they spend time with you because THEY want it. Your friend also.
Its a give and get in a friendship. I also always see myself as the 3rd wheel when i am around my friends.
They tell me otherwise.
Maybe try to tell him about how you feel, a true friend understands you and supports you.
A therapy is always a good choice in my eyes, i am sorry that you can’t afford it… maybe there are
self help groups or something like that in your area. This also can be a great thing to share with people who
can relate to you.
This is no trouble reading this, we care about you.
Have a nice day and feel hugged my friend,


Im going to ditto what Aardvark said. If someone’s spending time with you it’s because they want to too.

As for a psychologist, most insurances cover some number of therapy sessions. If not, or you don’t have insurance, some universities offer reduced-cost therapy sessions with student psychologists. They’re supervised by a licensed therapist and could be a good place to start if there’s a program like that near you. Otherwise, some communities have mental health programs for people who couldn’t otherwise afford a counselor. Try googling for free or low cost therapy near you. Certain places also do a sliding fee scale that just depends on your income. If you don’t make much you won’t pay much, and they’ll work with you. Finally, I haven’t tried anything like this, but I keep hearing about online therapy, where you either video call or just chat with a counselor. Maybe something like that would be cheaper?

Just some ideas. I really relate to your not having motivation to get out of bed title. My depression and issues made that a huge struggle for me for years and years. Makes it feel like you’re just dragging yourself through each day. One day at a time though I’ve gotten to the place I am now, and somehow i usually get up without even thinking about it. It may not feel like it, but there is hope for things to get better.

Even though you think you’re uninteresting, boring, or tiring, remember that you’re always around yourself. In other words, you already know your likes, dislikes, interests, and stories. Anybody who meets you doesn’t know what you’re thinking 24/7. Theyre probably going to find you more interesting than you find yourself. Also, your friends don’t struggle with your lack of motivation like you do. You can be sick, tired, and annoyed of it, but that doesn’t mean they are, and it certainly doesn’t make you tiring.

You seem like a kind soul. You clearly care about other people. You’re also brave enough to reach out. Those are some great qualities. I hope the best for you!


@Aardvark @NewAtThis
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and respond, I usually have low spirits, especially when I feel that I am distancing myself from my loved ones, I usually fix it by talking to the right person, but I feel that I can become annoying and it scares me that this will distance more. Being able to vent here and your words help me to get along much better, thank you! :slight_smile:


Thank you for your post and for being so open. I know those days where motivation seems so far away and it’s hard to want to get out of bed. It’s so thoughtful of you to put others first and try for them. Sometimes friends and family do make excellent motivation because we love them, we also have to make sure we embrace the love they have for us.
Have you ever spoken to a friend or family about how you are feeling?

It’s so wonderful that you’re making new friends! It’s always important to surround ourselves with good people. Maybe on days where you feel like they are seemingly not interested in spending time with you, you could always just send a message to say “hey how’re you?”. If they don’t reply, that’s okay too, we still have to respect boundaries. But sometimes the self doubt can speak loudly and make us feel like we aren’t good enough.

I hope you let us know how you are going. You matter greatly

i know very well what you mean. I talked a lot the last months, more than i did the last years.
But friends support each other, i would always listen to my friends worries and thoughs, whats on their
mind. And your friends will do that also.
Imagine how proud they will be, see you grow ? How they enjoy spending time with you.
They will notice the little steps.
I had a extremly rough August, with a hell of a rollercoaster of emotions. Yesterday i was spontaneously
invited to a birthday. My best friends. I went there and i really enjoyed the evening, one of the best in
the last time. When i was leaving, she said to me that she was so happy that i was there and that i smiled,
what i did rarely over the last months.
We are here for you, always. Have a nice day, feel hugged