I feel like Everyone i talk to hates me so much. I feel like I such a burden. Life has gotton so hard Idk if I can keep living like this. My life has been so fucked up for so fucking long. I relapsed last night and cut again. Things just got way to difficult. I feel like people think I’m better off dead. If this is how my life is going to be then I don’t want it anymore. It’s to fucked up for me to handle. Therapy hasn’t worked in 4 years. I can’t talk to my friends about it because I’m way to scared that they will judge me. I have no clue what to do. I just want all the pain and depression to go away but every time I try something or someone fucked it up. I don’t deserve to live.
Hi there Bandfreak03! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
Thank you so much for coming here and sharing with us.
I don’t have a lot of experience in regards to self-harm or suicidal thoughts so I’m not going to be much help in that department. But I just wanted to say that I hear you and see you. And I truly believe that you deserve to live and be loved just as much as anyone else here. You are not better off dead and no one here thinks that of you!
You are not a burden and I know how it feels to be too scared of opening up to your friends because you’re scared that they will judge you.
If it’s possible, maybe you can try looking into a different therapist? I’ve heard from others that sometimes it takes going through a few therapists/approaches to therapy to finally connect with one therapist/or method that helps you.
Sending you lots and lots of good vibes. 
-Deer
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My friend, you absolutely do deserve to live an amazing life. I cut once upon a time and hoped I never would again, then did again at 21, severely. I look at them now and regret it completely. What keeps me going is that I want to become an awesome version of myself, and though it may take time and work, I want to be able to look back on my bad days and be glad I didn’t do anything worse to myself. I wouldn’t want to miss out on the great things that have yet to happen in my life, even though there will be downfalls too. I want you to be able to be around for the awesome things that will happen to you, too. Thank you for reaching out to us. Please don’t hesitate to again.
Cheers,
Leon
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Anxiety and depression can make us feel really shitty and like nothing is working. If you are on medication, I highly recommend talking to your doctor about changing it. If you are not on medication, then It might be the time to consider it. Therapy doesn’t work for everyone. I have struggled with thoughts of self harm and suicide for most of my life, probably about 15 years now, give or take. While I didn’t cut myself, I did a lot of intentionally unsafe things and got hurt pretty badly because i didn’t care about myself or staying alive. Sometimes we just need to realize that what we are doing is not working and look into other methods. Plus you need to identify what in your environment could be causing issues and try to remedy it as best you can. A lot of depression and anxiety is inside the brain so you have to make sure you do what you can to reduce and eliminate outside causes as well. You can say that something stresses you out to your therapist all day but if you don’t take the steps to reduce its affects on you, you won’t improve.
I hope you start doing better soon, you are beautiful and amazing and your brain needs to stop being mean to you so you can see how amazing you really are
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let me just start by saying that there are people who still care, if you need proof, the fact that people are responding trying to support you should be. you deserve to live. everybody does. I know what it’s like to need to talk to somebody but being afraid that they’ll judge you. that’s how I feel about my family most of the time. if you can’t live like this anymore than change it. I know it sounds impossible but it’s been some of the best advice that I’ve been given. but please live. life is worth it in the long run, as unbearable as waiting out the storms can be. we all love and support you. take life one moment at a time, hang on to the good memories, focus on the small positives in life. God didn’t let me give up on life and I’m not going to let you either. we believe in you
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I know how you feel. I really have no one,those I do know seem to have little or no interest and I know I will destroy any relationship just by bringing my problems up. This loneliness keeps me from everything just assuming no one will ever care. As many times as I’ve heard “you’re not alone”it means nothing,I’m alone in this world and that’s what hurts me,that is what is killing me that is why Suicide is the only escape. The worst of it all is I don’t think I even deserve any care,I’m a bad person,I know I am,I don’t think I would even give a shit. Dying=escape
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