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I have been listening to a lot of heavy metal music for a while now , when my family members found out about what l was listening to and how I chose dress they started to make fun of me , and call me things like ; your a devil worshippers, your going to hell , your bringing evil spirits into the house, I don’t who you are anymore.
When I would buy merch from the store and wear what I had bought at home the next day and they saw what I was wearing and make fun of me some more, if I had bought some magazines from the store and brought them home and and they saw what I was reading and force me to throw them away , if I wanted to go check my email or social media accounts I had to be monitored the whole time , they even made me give them my email and social media passwords and username so that they can monitor everything I did those sites. If bought I CD from the store and played it on my stero the next day and they heard what I was listening to they would take it away from me and throw it away. It got so bad to the point that I didn’t want it live anymore and tried to kill myself and had started to self harm as well.

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Dont harm your self on their behalf. It’s not worth it. Damaging yourself is not the answer. They’re projecting themselves on to you.

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@Summer

I’m so sorry your family reacted that way, that they seem to try to diminish your feelings, preferences, to prevent you to access to what make sense to you and what you like. They seem to interfere with many aspects of your life. To have this huge control on your life.

Do you know what are the reasons behind? Did you already have the occasion to let them know about how you feel - or is that even possible? It seems that they have strong beliefs about what would be “good” for you or not. But it seems to be based on their own beliefs, not yours. Sometimes, when there is a lot of misunderstandings in a relationship, it can be important to work on how you can all negotiate what matters to you, on both sides. To build some bridges between all of you through a respectful/honest communication. But they might not be willing to listen… and it can take a lot of time for them to understand.

Of course, you have the right to hear and read whatever you want… and of course heavy metal or how you want to get dressed isn’t harmful for anyone. I wish they could see it and consider your own happiness as an overall priority, as something that goes beyond their own beliefs.

Friend, those who hurt you in any way will never be worth taking your own life. Not even your family. You matter.

Reach out when you need to. Don’t isolate yourself. Keep fighting against those urges to hurt yourself. And if you ever felt unsafe with yourself again, please call a crisis line:

You are not alone.
Sending love your way. :heart:

Hi, Summer. Again. (: I still see you. And still available if you want to talk. If you would like to connect to the Heart Support discord so you can talk with other people there as well, here is the link: https://discord.gg/PugPzE

Friend, you matter. What you are going through matters. I want you to know that you don’t have to face these emotions alone. Okay? I will continue to remind you that we are here to listen. I noticed you make a lot of posts but don’t really talk back as we respond. Just know when you are ready, we are here to talk <3

Stay strong

  • Kitty