I’m a married mother of 2 boys. I feel like everything I do is wrong. my kids don’t like me and are mean and rude. My husband will say he loves me but in almost the same breath he will tell me he doesn’t like me and feels trapped and miserable with me. I don’t want to kill myself but I feel like I have no real options. The idea of leaving and being on my own sends me into complete panic. I DO NOT want to have an apartment, start a square one, and juggle custody. Even if I did want to I have no money to do it with. I make less than $15,000 a year because my whole life has revolved around my family for so long. I just feel so useless and hopeless.
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Please, keep going. God loves you. I want to share a video with you. I hope it will help you https://youtu.be/QFf6opXR1Hc
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Hi- I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and all of this happening to you. I know for a fact that you are loved! Try starting a new hobby or doing something you enjoy that takes your mind off of things. Personally, I like to listen to music or watch funny movies or shows. I know it doesn’t seem like much but for a few moments, I am happy. And I take that as a win. I hope things change for you @Olive
I pray you stop feeling hopeless and useless. And you are not useless, your boys exist because of you. Remember that!
That’s really hard. I am so sorry. Is it possible at all to sit down and talk to your husband about the state of your relationships and try to work out the things that are strained? I was in a marriage for 13 years and a relationship for 15. We hit a point where we were living very similar. (without children) - It eventually turned to frustration and resentment when there was no communication. It’s good to talk about what is causing that miserable feeling or why you feel like you don’t like each other.
I later went through divorce. It IS a scary thing to think about. And for many years I put it off for the same reason you start to panic. Starting from square one. While I didn’t have children, I had a lot of health issues and knew I’d lose my health insurance. I cannot work, so leaving meant losing everything.
I don’t know your situation but in mine I eventually worked up the courage to leave. I’m in a much better place for it. But I know with children it’s not as easy. And I’m really sorry that you are in this situation at all.
Relationships truly are complicated and it takes a lot to keep them afloat. Do you want to work out your marriage? Or are you mostly hanging on due to fear? If its the second, do you think maybe talking a therapist would help the process?
I was seeing both a family/life counselor on top of a therapist during my process and it helped a LOT.
I hope things get better friend. You have a friend here willing to listen. I’m in the heart support discord. You can reach out there if you want. Or here.
- Kitty
From: heartsupport
thank you for reaching out, we love you so much and believe that you are worthy of love. You are a good mom and you have made a huge step that proves it. hrtLegoLove
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From: dyllonkg
Hey, life can be overwhelming. I feel that weight, the call of the void too. You arent alone and clearly loved. It is ok to feel this way, but just like the most turbulent of storms, it will pass with time.
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From: tromboness
I hate the feeling of all the choices I make are the wrong ones or not the best ones. It makes me feel like I won’t be able to do any better. For you and myself, I hope that things will get better. Hold Fast.
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From: nicolekaley
we love you so much. You’re a special special person and you deserve to heal. You WILL heal. You aren’t alone and we are grateful that you’re alive
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You are a caring, loving mom and wife. But you’re also so much more than the way your family perceive you. You’re truly beautiful just as you are. Right now, even if everything may seem overwhelming, you’ll get through this friend, one day at a time. You’ll find again this light you need to shine brightly. And until then you won’t be alone. You are so loved. Hold fast. 
Video Response:
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Pray. Please pray. God wants to resolve this. He wants to see you win. He doesn’t expect you to always be strong, He knows you’re human and that you have questions. Dont be afraid to ask them. Trust Him. He knows what He is doing. He has a plan.