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No self Confidence what so ever


#1

Hey guys… I’ve been spiraling out of control recently.
I’ve been chatting to a dude I met on Facebook, he’s really nice… Its been super long since I’ve actually started getting to know someone on a personal level. Anyways 3 weeks into chatting and he started liking me and i didnt expect that nor did I intend for that to happen but I caught feelings for him too… So he ignored me for a couple of days after we both expressed feelings for each other and I found that weird but it wasn’t a big deal I understand people get busy and stuff. Yesterday he msged me and he was upset that I didn’t act all lovey dovey towards him. It’s really hard for me to express feelings especially this soon into the relationship. I told him and this and that set him off he told me that I need to have proper etiquette on how not to kill conversations, and that he doesn’t really like me anymore. This got me down tbh but it’s okay I’m glad it ended sooner than later.
In a separate incident, earlier today I received a msg on Instagram from a twenty one pilots fan account saying that I need to stop editing my pics and that I ought to be ashamed of myself for being so fake and for portraying to be an emo rock chic but in reality I’m just a phony. That really threw me off the rails. Because the truth is I’ve never been confident in the way I looked. And I guess it hit me hard cause twenty one pilots is my fave band and I didn’t want someone in the clique to think of me as a phony. I do edit my pics though I use filters to make myself look better. I feel really bad about it and I did make a conscious effort to improve myself by deactivating my Instagram and Facebook. I really don’t need social media. I’m not one to post often anyways, but man it hurts really bad being perceived as a fake, boring person :frowning:


#2

Dude, both of those people suck.

That dude was being sketchy and blamed you for everything, including his own problems – super not cool

And then some random person decides to go onto your IG and tear you down? What a bully!

Both of these people aren’t worth your time. I really love Andy Biersack’s approach to bullying – he says that if people bully him it’s that they don’t understand who he is, and they’re not worth his time. I’ve included his interview below for some inspiration for you

this one is good too

You matter SO MUCH MORE than those people say. Their words hold no weight on your worth. And you are worth so much. Hold fast to the truth and not to the lies of their words. You are loved, you are not too much, you are enough as is.


#3

Hey friend

I’m sorry people are treating you so unfairly, and i think you’re brave to post here on the support wall.

That dude shouldn’t be the one to talk, if he has feelings for you and if he really wanted that relationship he would not have igored you for days. Relationships isn’t just about what one person wants, which is kinda how I precieve him to view it. He ignored you as that was what suited him, and only came calling when he craved love. I’m so sorry he was such a selfish person. A relationship is just as much about what you give as it is about what you get.
I do however think it’s kinda premature to get into a relationship after just 3 weeks of knowing someone, as the foundation for such a connection isn’t there yet (thinking this is the reason it ended sooner rather than later). You can think of it as trying to balance something on a wooden support beam; the longer you have relations with someone, the thicker the support beam gets (it starts as nothing) and it gets easier to balance a relationship, easier to do it right. I know you will feel a better kind of love in the future, and that is what you deserve :slight_smile: “You sometimes lose what you love, but in the end love will return in a different way”

This seperate incident pisses me off. It’s my belief that as long as who you are and what you do doesn’t hurt anyone and isn’t against the law, you’re entitled to be who you want to be, dress how you want, have as many filters as you like, do what you like, etc. The other fan bulling you and tearing you down is wrong. They really have no say in the matter as it’s your life not theirs. I know how much this hurts and in the long run such negative interactions could ruin someone as a person, as they really are tearing down your idenity. I don’t think deactivating your social media is necessary unless this comes from everyone and all the time, just block the people being bullies, and continue being you. You’re not defined by bullies, you’re beautiful in your own way and you’re loved by not only the people who really know you, but also this community which is Heartsupport. Hope this can brighten your day a little, and never hesitate to reach out if you need help. I can usually be found in Heartsupport streams or on discord if you wanna talk.

Life is so much more than this ~ Hushy


#4

Hey sorry…to clarify… It wasn’t a relationship :see_no_evil:… We just confessed feelings for each other and thereafter he was gone for a couple of days and when he was back he was like nah i dont like you anymore :disappointed_relieved:… Thank you so much for the advice. I feel abit better today. Keep well


#5

I see, just assumed since you referred to it as a relationship. Glad you’re feeling better


#6

Both those people were probably looking for something they weren’t going to find. I suggest if you want to connect in a real way with someone it be locally IRL.

I know IRL is overrated nowadays with tik tok, and whatever other app that is hip nowadays. Yet dating somebody that lives near you have a lot of benefits that an online service can’t provide IMO.

I hope you find what you’re looking for. (If you want a couple of suggestions on how to tag some guys near you locally. Just reply to me & I’ll give them to you.)


#7

Hi @Need_help2705

I’m struggling with something similar.

I was hanging out with a girl, she is a really special person. But on the past few weeks she was kinda ignoring me, texting me back with short answers and even put me on hold.

I’m glad that you were able to step back too, before it got dark for both of you.

Sometimes love comes for us in different ways and shapes.
I hope you can find the most beautiful kind.