Struggling more than usual today. After being told by doctors I couldn’t get pregnant I did, and then I had a miscarriage a while back and my due date would have been right around now. I thought I had made my peace with the situation and understand that now is just not our time and everything happens for a reason. I’m trying to lean on the positive side knowing that at least my husband and I are capable of getting pregnant.
Today it just hit harder than usual. 4 of my friends are posting about their newborns or their current pregnancies. My sister in law is pregnant with twins and the family is ecstatic, as they should be. It’s still too hard for me to be around all the talk and belly rubbing. I’ve seen so many new baby photos today and I’m doing my best to be happy for everyone… but I mainly feel alone and bitter.
I don’t bring it up or speak honestly about my pain with anyone other than my husband and a few close friends. I don’t want to rain on their parade. They’ve done nothing wrong and should be extremely happy and sharing that with the world. It’s just a lot for me to handle right now and for some reason today I’m just not ok.