Not okay today. Struggling with miscarriage heartache

Struggling more than usual today. After being told by doctors I couldn’t get pregnant I did, and then I had a miscarriage a while back and my due date would have been right around now. I thought I had made my peace with the situation and understand that now is just not our time and everything happens for a reason. I’m trying to lean on the positive side knowing that at least my husband and I are capable of getting pregnant.

Today it just hit harder than usual. 4 of my friends are posting about their newborns or their current pregnancies. My sister in law is pregnant with twins and the family is ecstatic, as they should be. It’s still too hard for me to be around all the talk and belly rubbing. I’ve seen so many new baby photos today and I’m doing my best to be happy for everyone… but I mainly feel alone and bitter.

I don’t bring it up or speak honestly about my pain with anyone other than my husband and a few close friends. I don’t want to rain on their parade. They’ve done nothing wrong and should be extremely happy and sharing that with the world. It’s just a lot for me to handle right now and for some reason today I’m just not ok.

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Hey Amanda,

First of all welcome to the support wall and thank you for posting. I can understand that this is a hard time for you with the due date around the corner and everything and your feeling are completely warranted.

My advice is though this may be hard right now, never give up and keep trying and if something isnt working, look at other ventures like adoption or a possible surrogate. Continue to be there for your friends and family and just remember that this is a bump in the road and not a final road block.

Hold Fast,
Yummerz

Hi sweetheart,

You know, I remember there was a time when I wanted kids so bad and I realized that I could not have my own. I was heart broken. And seeing people getting pregnant, talking about babies and starting families really made my heart ache in the worst way. I felt broken. That was a long time ago, but it was painful at the time.

Knowing the pain I went through just by knowing I couldn’t have it…I can only imagine how incredibly painful it must have been for you to get pregnant and then lose your baby. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that.

I understand that bitterness. I didn’t mean to be. It’s just hard when you ache for something, or in your case the ache of losing something, to see someone else have that. It’s so natural and human. Those feelings are so valid.

I know nothing I can say can resolve the pain you are going through, but I am sending you so much love. I hope you are able to find some healing and one day have a family in whichever way that can happen for you. Whether you try again, adopt or foster.

So much love to you

  • Kitty