I’ve lived here for about 20 years now and I feel like there’s nothing for me here anymore, yet I can’t find a way out of here. I feel like I’m in this perpetual cycle of misery knowing something is waiting but my life wastes away here. I’m not quite too sure how to put it, but somethings not right, and I don’t know what to do.
Hey there, friend. Sounds like you’ve been going through a lot! It’s such an awful feeling, when you know where you want to be, but you just can’t seem to get there. I’ve been there before. Honestly I still kind of am there! What you’re in right now is what I like to call a “quiet season”. When everything seems a bit muted, you’re not too sure of many things, the thought of the future either aggravates you, or you just can’t bring yourself to think about it too much (or you find you can’t even process the thought of what might happen in years to come at all!).
Through this season you might find yourself feeling very weighed down, depressed, disconnected- it might be hard to keep your mind off of your struggles. I know it can definitely be a lot, and you might think you can’t take it, but you have to trust that we are never given any obstacle that we can’t overcome. Though this season is infact an obstacle, it’s also a blessing.Through this season we are taught to slow down and notice the little things in life that bring us joy, among other things. Practice being grateful- though it may seem very difficult at first, I promise it’ll only get easier and will bring you so much more joy. Eventually, you’ll find that you can laugh and smile in the toughest of times because of all that you’ve been through there, and let me tell you, that is a skill that is definitely worth the struggle. You’ll also learn so much empathy and grow so much in love for all those who are struggling as well. If you think you’re an empath or a very loving person right now, just you wait!
My point is, don’t wish this season away! It’s here for a reason! I know it doesn’t feel right, and you feel a longing to be somewhere else, but I think some of the things you learn in this season will make your life so much more joyful and filled. Something is waiting for you, and that something is the new you that’s in the process of being made. These things take time, but boy are they worth it.