Nothingness and emptiness

This is my first time posting here. I have been feeling down for a few weeks now. I don’t know if I am overly sensitive or are the people around me extremely unsensitive? I get angered easily and most of the thought in my mind are negative. And I hate it. I wish I could be positive but I hate everything. Sometimes I wish that I could just run away from life and the people that I know. But that would just be scary for me as I am not used to being all by myself. Even in occasions where I am supposed to feel happy to see my friends, I just feel empty… I have no idea why. I am also very tired from work and seeing people who I have to serve every single day. And my mom, I love her so much but sometimes I feel like what she says brings me down. So badly. I’ve always been super sensitive since I was a kid and even when I am not being sensitive about things, she will bring it up and say ‘don’t say that to her, she will cry about it later’ in a joking manner. And it hurts me. And the fact that she doesn’t appreciate my efforts to spend some time with her irks me. I just feel like getting away. I always have this problem with my family when I get home. I feel better with them when I am far away, studying. Is it bad?

1 Like

@saffiraaa thank you for posting here - I’m sorry that you don’t have anyone supporting you like you’d want. Feeling better when away from them ISN’T a bad thing - a lot of people find that being away brings them closer to their family and friends. I would look into the new HS book Dwarf Planet if you can and maybe into some counselling/therapy I think it would really help. You’ll always have here to reach out too and as I’ve said here before, sometimes you need to look at your friends as individuals rather than a group and see if there’s one that you can reach out too - people can be very different when taken out of a group situation.

Hold Fast.
Kayla

@saffiraaa

Friend you aren’t the only one who feels this way. My situation is kind of similar to yours but not as much. I always feel much better when I’m away from my family because its a form of isolation. It’s a tool that I have used for the longest time that many people have tried to break me out of it.

I can tell you it is habit forming. Spend the time you have with those you love as much as you can. Sometimes communication is the biggest issue. Talking to someone about it usually helps when it’s a family member. If she doesn’t want to communicate about this to you then the only thing I can suggest is to find something you can stretch into. Are you creative at all? Do you draw? Do you like running, hiking, etc… These are healthy things you can do to keep yourself from what you are feeling.

Stay strong friend and hold fast,
PMacDanceDude Team Out of the Ashes

1 Like

Hey @saffiraaa,

First off, I want to welcome you to HeartSupport! I hope you find safety and refuge in this community.

It could definitely be both! Based on what you told us in your post, it sounds like you’re an empath (a person with the ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual), which I highly respect. Have you been able to talk to a professional about what you’re feeling? The reason I ask is because a sign of clinical depression is losing interest in activities in which you used to find joy within (i.e. the feeling of nothingness and emptiness while doing said activities). There’s NO shame in checking out if you may be struggling with something deeper than just what’s on the surface (anger; which is found to be a surface-emotion above sadness). Please keep us updated! We’re here for you!

-Eric