This is going to be probably my last post. I lost my battle with depression. It overtook me like vines snaking through the broken cracks of an abandoned building. It’s been years since I felt anything other than self hatred. I have had good days but they are too rare to live off of. I thought that when I became an adult, it would all change. Nothing ever did. I have cried enough tears, I have sliced myself open and watched more sadness pour out. There’s nothing left for me. For every good day, I have 100 lonely days. Days where I wish I had someone to make me smile. Where I had someone to talk to. It’s been an empty 10 years and I don’t think I can keep going. I said in my previous post that July 22, 2020 would be my last day on this planet but I don’t think I can continue to feel this way for that long. The silver lining in this is that even though I didn’t fight back hard enough, anyone reading this can. I was never able to find peace but I also just never had the opportunity. Don’t let my story become your story. I wasn’t the strongest person but anyone reading this, anyone who posts in this forum, is strong enough. Don’t be like me. Its tough not to in the pandemic. Please have more strength than me, I will send my strength left to anyone who may need it. I can’t lie and say I’m not terrified that I’ll be gone in 8 months. All I really want is someone to sit with me and just let me cry. Someone to tell me its okay to be scared. 8 months feels like a really short amount of time but its the only promise I have ever kept to myself. I want to say thank you to everyone reading this. Just knowing that I had one place to turn was enough for a while. I never made many friends along the way and maybe that contributes to my feeling alone. I do value everyone that urged me to continue fighting. I kept myself alive for 18 years. 18 is better than 17. The stream of tears running down my face is making it hard to write this so I must wrap it up. To anyone reading this, don’t give up just because I did. I’m not a role model. I’m just a girl who’s been extremely alone and tortured by her own mind for too long. Thank you heartsupport for being a place to help me cope for so long. It kept me around a little longer. This is my final sign off.