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Numb and isolated

I’m trying to get myself to do something today but I feel too numb. I’m on unemployment and I don’t know what I want to do next with my life. Like everyone else, my plans for the next phase got destroyed by covid.
My family makes it worse…always demanding how I’m going to make money. I feel like the black sheep…my views are so different from theirs and I take a lot of chances moving and trying different things. Last summer my dad told me I’m never going to be successful. None of my siblings (there are four) really talk to me anymore.
I just moved out of town and I have no community and no motivation. I feel like a loser.

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I get it, it’s hard when you family doesn’t have your back, isn’t it? Like one could think that is our own fault.
But I don’t think telling you “you are not going to success” is the right way to get you to do something.
I am sorry your siblings are not talking to you, may I ask why?
Family is a lottery, we don’t pick it we just got it and we have to deal with it until we can take care of ourselves by our own.
I am not sure if you ment that you moved on your own out of town, or with your whole family. I hope is the first.
Leaving home, even a toxic one can be hard but is necessary for heal and to better ourselves, we need to be surrounded of people that believe in us, that support us and want the best for us. Anyone else can go fuck themselves.
I know lockdown is hard but take this time to be with yourself, do something new like colouring mandelas while listening music.
Develop a skill. Try meditation. Bodyweight workout. Fast. There are countless things to do that can be good for you.
Take care of yourself because no one else is in the best position to do it like you are.

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That really sucks. I feel like right now we are all seeing our plans and dreams suffer because of covid. This is an unusual time. Give your self some slack. Nothing is normal right now. Your worth can’t be measured by the amount of money you make. If you need unemployment take it! Do not be ashamed of it. It’s there for a reason. I’m sorry you don’t get support from your family. I myself recently noticed strain in my relationships with my parents. I don’t have any kind of answers for that I just know it hurts. I just know that you are worthy of love and that is not based on income or how much your parents understand you. You have The rest of your life to figure out what you want to do. There is no time limit. You got this!

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I moved out on my own. I lived on my own before as well. Last summer I lived with my parents for two months and it was a disaster…I moved and started teaching dance in another town thanks to my best friend landing me the job and on the side I danced in a club to pay my bills. My sister was the only one who knew I danced in the club.
I used to be so ashamed for being at a club but I came out and told her I’m not anymore and that it helped me save so much money. She called me disgusting. And we haven’t really talked since March.

My other siblings just don’t talk to me much unless I call them.im diagnosed with bipolar so I think they believe I’m just crazy. I gave up.It’s exhausting to try and make people understand.
Yesterday on Father’s Day they didn’t talk to me at all or really look at me other than when I walked through the door. We didn’t even say goodbye to eachother. It hurts and I feel so damn alone.

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Hey, how have you been?
Sorry for the late reply.
It’s nice that you dance, if you enjoy doing it you should continue to do it. I used to dance for a couple of years but then I got an arrow to the knee, lol; no really, it’s a beautiful world the dancing world.
If you didn’t felt comfortable dancing in a club it was nice that you stopped. Always respect yourself.
I am sorry about your family. The best you could do maybe is move on from them, threat your bipolar disorder and any other issues you need to attend. I think we all are already handful with our own issues to have to deal with negative people not adding anything good to our lifes, don’t do that to yourself too.
You are strong and courageous.
Be patience, you will meet new people, make sure they are good for you, engaging in an activity that involves meeting new people like dancing classes could be a good solution.

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Thank you and it something I’m working through. Unfortunately the dance world is mostly shut down so I’m trying to navigate how to still participate. I want to move on from them…but then I feel guilt cause family you know? I don’t know how to set boundaries with them. And honestly, I don’t think they are good with boundaries at all.