Old, Tired, Ready to Go

HeartSupport Support
1

Almost 60 years old, and, after 40 years of living with chronic, treatment resistant depression, I’m tired and ready to go. Just waiting for my father to pass.

In the meantime, I quit my job, and I’m in the process of getting my affairs in order so my husband won’t have to worry about those details things after I’m gone. He’s six years younger than me, healthy, in good shape, and quite handsome, so I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding someone new if he wants to. I told him to make absolutely sure that she doesn’t have any mental issues like me tho. Lord knows he doesn’t want to have to deal with that shit again. Never had kids, so no worries there. Only other family are two younger sisters but we’re not especially close. Besides, I’ve already told them what I’m planning. They don’t understand it, but they recognize that it’s my life and, therefore, my decision.

For those of you younger folks currently struggling with your own personal brand of mental illness who have the strength to keep going, I sincerely hope and pray that you don’t have to spend your lives waiting for more effective treatments to be discovered.

Ok, time to get back to my Christmas preparations. Happy Holidays everyone. :evergreen_tree::star2:

2 Likes
2

Can you please list the treatments, medications and therapies you’ve tried to date? It may be the right thing for you , you haven’t been told about or taken advantage of yet… In my experience, sleep deprivation and poor sleep are huge factors in any depression (i.e, Sleep Apn(o)ea test)

1 Like
3

Except for the new antidepressants which my insurance doesn’t cover sufficiently, I’ve tried pretty much every SSRI/SNRI out there. I’ve also been in therapy, hospitalized twice, and had ECT. Nothing has helped long term. My doc now wants me to try Transcranial something or other and to enroll in an IOP but, again insufficient insurance for those options. And tbh, neither can guarantee the relief that I want. I don’t want to have to “cope” with or “manage” depression anymore. I want to be FREE of this affliction, and there is only one way that that is going to happen.