On the edge

Quarantine sucks, having friends who are sick is terrifying, and having now ex-friends who thought it was all a hoax is maddening.
I never wanted to be a homeschooler and now that’s what I have to be. My kids are 5 & 7 and not only am I expected to teach them all the things, but there are also no possible field trips or recesses at the park. I understand why this must be but that doesn’t make it easier.
I’m sensitive to audio and my kids are overwhelming me.
My husband works for the post office and we are both more stressed than we have ever been.
And with all this going on, my online social circles still expect me to be happiness incarnate. I talk everyone out of their trees but they all quietly log off if they notice me being less than ok.
My user name may have Joy in it but I’m a person not a cardboard cutout.
I just want to cry all the time, but I don’t feel allowed.


Hey friend. Man, that’s so hard. I know this virus has really turned all of our lives upside down. And I know that every one of us struggles with it in different ways. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have to take on so much more of a work load than you already have and take on a whole lot of stimulant that probably is usually less chaotic when kids are at school.

As someone who is autistic, I know how hard noise and feeling like there is no private space to be in, can be.

And I’m sorry that your friends don’t know how to better there for you when you need to talk. I hate that for you. You deserve to be heard, to talk, to share your heart. But know that here in heart support you can share whatever it is you are going through and feeling. No matter what it is. It is okay to not always be okay. It is okay to break down and cry. It is okay to just need time to yourself.

We’re going to get through this friend. I’m so sorry it’s so hard.

You ARE allowed to express yourself.



I just want to cry all the time, but I don’t feel allowed.

Well, maybe crying all the time wouldn’t bring anything good to you, but it’s okay to feel like this. You are allowed to cry if you need to. There’s no shame to have. Being strong is also about accepting to feel more vulnerable sometimes. You know, you’ve been holding a lot of stress. And it makes sense to feel how you feel. So please, don’t blame yourself for that and don’t censor yourself. :heart:

You’re an awesome mom. All of these circumstances are stressful and we couldnt know what would happen, but you are doing what you can with what you have right now. Thank you for what you do, for trying your best. I don’t have kids myself so I can only imagine how stressful it is for you right now. It’s hard to adapt ourselves to this situation. It’s a bit chaotic for everyone. So it’s also important to take care of ourselves as much as we need, despite our respective responsabilities.

I hope you have moments in your day when you can just take a break from everything and everyone. When you can actually hear the silence and recharge your batteries. It can be a matter of organization to schedule some moments for yourself. But don’t forget that it’s okay to make your well-being a priority, just like for everyone else. Even if you are a caring mom, wife and friend. And if your friends are not supportive to you right now, as they see you as their own pillar of strength, then know that you are among friends here. It’s absolutely okay not to be okay. The present circumstances are meant to change. But there’s not judgment to have on this matter. This situation affects all of us in different ways. Being honest about how we feel is a great way to support each other and to go through all of this.

There’s a staff member here on HS who’s making coloring pages that are free to use for people during quarantine. Maybe it could be helpful to you when you need some more quiet/peaceful time with your kids?
There’s a direct access to the coloring pages here: Free Coloring Pages - Google Drive But you can also get more informations on the DanMakesHisMark Discord Discord and/or by joining us during their live streams! On Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday at 1pm PST, here: Twitch.

It would be great to see you there. Also because there are parents in this community who may be facing common difficulties and would be glad to share about how they deal with this situation. :heart:

Sending tons of love your way. :heart: